Today I was standing in line at the post office with Daphne and she was in a very flirtatious mood. She was smiling very big at the people around her. As I proceeded forward I heard the familiar sound of wretched puke coming from her gut. She puked all over herself. the floor and me. This wasn't the watery kind that often comes up, but that thick cottage cheese looking stuff. Because I am a totally incompetent mother I didn't have a burp cloth with me. The only thing I had to use to clean up the mess was her hat. One of the postal employees ran off to get some towels. And to make things worse it is 900 degrees today so it smelled worse than the time I rode the Greyhound bus for 27 hours. Humiliation is such a huge part of parenthood. As I was driving home there were university students everywhere with their backpacks, short skirts, and general fabulousness. I couldn't help but think about how that used to be me. I used to have the kind of life where I had some control over the unexpected. Certainly there was always the possibility that I might puke in public (and to be honest I may have done that in a bar or two when I was 21). Anyway, it just made me realized that my life as I know it is over. Sure, I should have realized this a few months ago. Today, however, was my big epiphany. I have no control. I have a large, farting, pooping, puking dwarf that could do all of those things anywhere at anytime.