Holly's Page

This page will eventually be about Holly, but right now there's not much here.

We do have a couple of second-trimester pictures, though...

Well, Holly just gave birth (on Sunday April 13th) and has pretty much forbidden any documentary evidence of what she's looked like for the past couple of days.

Actually, there are some pictures of Holly in the hospital, but she won't let them near the website. :)

This one is the closest you'll come to seeing Holly's hospital adventure in pictures:

You can hardly blame her for being camera-shy. She woke up at 6:00 A.M. last Saturday to find that her bag of waters had ruptured. She wasn't having so much as a hint of contractions.

When she went up to the hospital, she was immediately given Pitocin (sp?) to induce labor. And labor she did... for the next 26 hours.

During this time, Holly's cervix made some progress, but the baby's head was nowhere near the right position. So, she ended up getting a C-section. Talk about the worst of both worlds!

Holly is recovering nicely in most ways, but the healing incision makes it difficult to hold (and, therefore, to feed) little Daphne.

As much as I would love to be one of those parents who lets their kids roam around in the mud eating bugs, I just can't. Proof of this is that I am seriously considering purchasing a product called Germ Doctor. Is this a little too much? I have been reading all about how parents today are too clean. I even came across an article that informed me that washing my hands too much can allow bacteria to flourish. Yikes! Well, at least I am not crazy enough to buy the Nursery Air Purifier. If you think that is nuts check out their knee protectors. These are not on Daphne's wish list.

It seems like every year when the weather starts to change from warm to cold I get sick. Poor Daphne has also been sick. It is not a good combination for the both of us to be sick at the same time. To make matters worse I have a screaming headache. It is awful. I never get headaches like this. Jack suffers from them all the time (being the caffeine addict that he is), but I hardly ever get them. I am sure that it is the very beginnings of a brain tumor. The worst part is that I can't take anything because I am breastfeeding. The truth is that I am able to take less medications now than when I was pregnant. Six months ago I would have been able to take a Sudafed, but not now. It seems that everything gets into breast milk. I even read this afternoon that losing weight too fast can cause the toxins that are stored in my body to be released into my breast milk. Lovely! I guess that is another excuse to hold onto the extra 20 pounds that just won't come off. Thank goodness for BreatheRight nasal strips. At least when I use them I don't wake up with that claustrophobic feeling like I can't breathe.

Daphne is Mr. Manic right now. She is happy then sad then happy all at the same time. She also grabs at everything. Her little fingers are always going. She grabs at my nose, skin, hair, and anything else she can get ahold of. She has also discovered that she can make a scratching noise with her fingers. She is always scratching at the furniture and at her diaper. She picked up a plastic hanger while I was putting away laundry today and started wacking me with it. I am all for children learning through discovery, but I think physical abuse is where I draw the line.

In other news Jack has me using a new blogging program called Movable Type. I know that for many of you who read this learning new technology is exciting and stimulating and all of that, but I have no patience for it. Jack says, "How is it even different?" He has made so many adjustments to make it look exactly like the one I was using before. He says, "The only thing that is different is the color." But, I know that it is different and that is all is takes for me to resist the change. In fact, until he tricked me into using OS X by downloading a bunch of OS X-only games, I was set on using OS 9 for the rest of my life. Sadly, he has made it look almost exactly like OS 9 and has to hide the Dock because I can't stand the way it bounces and the way it magnifies. Essentially everything that makes it interesting to other people.

I know that none of you are going to believe this but Daphne crawled 4 feet today. She crawled completely off the blanket that I put on the floor when she plays with her toys. Seriously, she crawled. The strange part is that she crawled BACKWARD! She lifted her body up on her hands and knees just like she would if she was going to crawl forward, but did it backwards. I had to look it up and I guess this is a normal thing for babies to do. I also think that it is strange for her to do it this early. I guess that is normal to according to this poll. I guess I had better start babyproofing soon.

I am the last person who has the right to complain about Daphne's sleeping habits. She rarely sleeps less than 9 hours at night and most of the time she sleeps for 10. She rarely (almost never) wakes up at night and she goes right back to sleep after being cuddled for a minute. We are very well rested parents.

I wish that someone could explain to me why she has such a hard time napping. Why is it that she will sleep for an hour in the afternoon while I watch TV or read a book, but if I try to put her in her crib she wakes up within 5 minutes of being put down. It seems that as long as she is in my lap sleep comes easy, but the minute her head hits those sheets she starts moving around. We even put up darker curtains in her room hoping that would help,but it doesn't. This is the same child who will go to sleep in her crib at night and won't wake up even if I run the vacuum. In the afternoon even the click of her bedroom door being closed is enough to wake her up. Strange.

I think I have complained about that enough. I know that I am not going to get any sympathy. So I will move on. What books are Daphne enjoying this week you ask? Well, I will tell you. I am reading and re-reading The Runaway Bunny. This is very difficult because it makes me want to cry. Jack and Daphne are reading a wonderful book When the Moon is High. This is a nice quiet before bedtime book. Eliana is reading Daphne Goodnight Moon, Daphne's favorite book.

So, I went into the Motherhood at the mall (to buy a new nursing bra) and I got a little melancholy. I was jealous of all of the women shopping for cute maternity clothes. It's not that I enjoyed being pregnant, but there are things about it that I miss. Here for your enjoyment are the top five things I miss about being pregnant:

1. Of course the first thing would be being able to eat and eat and eat all the chocolate chip cookies that I want.

2. The illusion that I would lose all of my "baby" weight by six weeks post-partum. The illusion was so great that I took regular clothes to the hospital with me. I actually thought that I would be able to leave the hospital wearing normal clothes.

3. Pants with big elastic waists in the front (panel pants). This seems odd to me since I nearly cried the first time I had to go shopping for them. Let's just say comfort, extreme comfort.

4. Did I already mention not having to worry about how fat I looked? Ok, I miss the attention I got being pregnant. People were so kind to me. They would ask about how I was doing or just smile warmly at me. Now all of that attention has shifted to Daphne. Not that I mind. I like it when people smile at her, but sometimes I feel like the invisible mommy.

5. The anticipaton of having a baby and all of the things that go with it. The shopping, deciding on a name, thinking about what she would look like, and what it would be like to hold her in my arms.

Hmmm, but really it's being able to eat all those warm, yummy, chocolatey cookies!

I wish someone would please tell me why my normally good natured daughter has started screaming her head off when I try to put clothes on her. I keep looking around thinking I am pinching her or causing her bodily harm (that is how loud she yells), but I haven't. It doesn't matter how carefully or quickly I put her shirts on. She never peeps when I take clothes off before her bath. I think this is proof of her being a drama-baby. So, please tell me why she acts this way.

Jack and I tried to watch a DVD last weekend, but it turned out to be impossible. Daphne has no patience for our taste in entertainment. She will watch the Wiggles or Baby Einstein and nothing else. She gave the movie zero stars and two thumbs down. What Jack and I were able to see of it we actually liked. Maybe when she is older we will rent it again and actually watch it without stopping every fifteen minutes.

Finally, It would be rude of me to list all of the things wrong with Iowa City. It is actually a nice place to live. It would be perfect here in the fall with the leaves changing and the weather cooling off if it weren't for the annoying football traffic. We got stuck in it by accident a few weekends ago. It was awful. It think the only thing more annoying than football in Iowa is the damn box elder bugs. Interestingly, I grew up near Brigham City Utah home of Box Elder High School. Oddly their school mascot is the bee not the box elder bug.

Isn't technology wonderful? My grandmother who is in her 90's e-mailed me today for the first time. She was also able to see pictures and video of her great-granddaughter. She lives in Utah and we aren't able to visit as frequently as we would like to. It is so great that we can keep the folks back home up to date on Daphne's life. It makes it easier to live so far away.

So, here is another entry filled to the brim with guilt. My little baby has an ear infection. Yes, an ear infection. I thought ear infections only happened to kids who attended daycare. I guess I was wrong. She has had a little cold for a few days that turned into a cough on Thursday. She had a cold when we were in Utah and were told not to worry unless she had a fever. So, I figured I had it under control. I am trying very hard to be a calm and rational mother. My definiton of calm mother includes not calling the doctor EVERY day (even though I would like to call her EVERY day).

So, I thought we were being rational by just letting the cold ride itself out as long as she wasn't suffering too much or developing more symptoms (like a fever). She started being cranky when we put her on her back in her crib (sure sign of an ear infection). She also has been waking up every few hours at night wanting to nurse (another clear sign of an ear infection). Her nose has been both stuffed and runny (a leading cause of ear infections). I feel just terrible that I waited three days to take her in to the doctor. She was very angry when the doctor examined her. I have never seen her that angry. She screamed and screamed. No amount of "Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" could soothe her. Please take note that Daphne does NOT like having things put in her ear.

Anyway, Jack is now at the pharmacy having her prescription for antibiotics filled and we are going to give her Tylenol for the pain. We are also going to give her a few extra hugs and kisses to make up for the poking and proding at the doctor's office.

Today is Daphne's six-month birthday. I sure do like her. She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to Jack and me. She gets cuter and cuter every day. I love that her little personality is starting to show through. My favorite thing about her this month is that she has started to develop two distinct cries for us. She has a special cry for her Daddy and a different cry for me. The proof of this is that when she does her daddy cry Jack will leap towards her to pick her up and comfort her much faster that I will. When she does her mommy cry Jack will look up and wander over while I run to her aid. Interesting the way babies manipulate situations. It is like through months of crying for our attention she has figured out what pitch and volume of cry will make each of us get there faster depending on what she wants. Of course the cry that gets me running sounds like her pain cry. I am not sure what distinguishes the cry she uses for Jack, to me it just sounds like she is whining.

For her sixth month birthday she decided to poop all over my nightgown this morning. The nasty antibiotics that she is taking (which smell like if Hell were made of bubblegum) are giving her diarrhea. In a bonus episode she puked the entire contents of her stomach (bananas included) all over her Aunt Mauria last night. Does Hallmark make a card for that?

Daphne still has her cold. Her nose is runny, her ears hurt, she has diarrhea, and generally doesn't feel good. BUT, she still insists on practicing her crawling. She has been getting up on her hands and knees rocking back and forth. She is very frustrated that she can't move forward. She crawls backward with ease, but the only thing she can do forward is this weird little bounce. It reminds me of the game leap frog. Poor Daphne, she is so determined that it is almost pathetic. Well, gotta go. I hear her crying out for me. Pray for me that she hasn't soiled her diaper.

I am having one of those tedious days. I think it is because the last few days have been so crazy busy. I didn't have time to stop and think yesterday. I had a sick and needy baby all day and then I had Eliana for six hours. That is a lot of caretaking. Daphne seems to be feeling a little better today. She is watching her Language Nursery right now. I am hoping that by the time she is two we will all be able to count to 20 in six different languages. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty about putting on a video, but I do. It's not that I think TV is so bad; it's just that she LOVES it so much. I am afraid that I am creating a junkie. I call the TV Mommy II. If it were up to her and if the TV could provide nourishment she would call it Mommy I.

So, I am bored. Yes, bored. I know I can hear other people saying how they could never be bored. Well, I get bored. I have several things I could be doing right now, but they aren't very promising. I could go unload the dishwasher, but that is the chore I hate the most. I am not sure why. I don't mind loading the dishwasher, but I really hate putting dishes away. I could work on the iMovie Jack and I are making, but I get so consumed by it that I will end up ignoring Daphne for longer than I want to. We could go somewhere but I really don't want to have to change a diarrhea filled diaper in the park or at the mall. So, I am going to see if Daphne would like to look at some picture books. I really need to learn to savor the time we have together right now. She is getting so much older and it won't be much longer before she doesn't want to cuddle anymore.

My poor child! I called the pediatrician this morning because Daphne is still waking up several times a night screaming her head off. Jack and I took her in to see if her ear infection had gotten worse. The pediatrician looked at her ears and told us that they looked great and that something else must be causing her discomfort. I told her that she has been having really bad diarrhea lately and has terrible diaper rash. Upon closer inspection her pediatritrian told us that she has ulcerative diaper rash. This means that she not only has diaper rash but blisters on top of her diaper rash. No wonder she has been so miserable. I would be complaining a lot if I had blisters on my bum. Of course I felt like crying, but the pediatrician told me that she has seen much worse and that it was a result of diarrhea not bad parenting. Nice words but I still feel guilty. So, we are supposed to stop he antibiotics today and concentrate on her rash. I guess some babies react poorly to antibiotics and along with diarhea she most likely has a tummy ache. Anyway, that is my depressing update. I hope she starts feeling better soon.

Wow, you read the title and you are still going to read this post. Mighty brave of you. This is the real, well cartoon of The PoopSmith . This is exactly how I feel right now. Now either you are going think that clip is funny or you are going to think that I have lost my mind. I think probably both.

Seriously, I have to update you on Daphne. She is doing better. I am glad the pediatrician told us to stop the antibiotics. She was miserable. She slept on her tummy last night. I know that I am supposed to move her onto her back, but sleeping on her tummy is probably more comfortable. If I were to move her onto her back she would just turn over again. She did sleep 8 hours last night. This is a big improvement, but she still isn't back to her normal sleeping routine. The 8 hours makes me think that she is starting to feel better.

Back to the poo! Jack and I have a new diaper changing routine. We normally use the softest diaper wipes on the market, but her rash is so bad that we can only use water and a soft cloth. Pretty gross! We have to keep a bucket of warm water by her changing table at all times and have to make sure her bum is super dry before putting on the diaper. Her pediatrician suggested using a hair dryer on a LOW setting, but we aren't doing that. We just fan her. I feel so bad for her. It is breaking my heart. We also went on a mad search for a product called Resinol that the pediatrician suggested. It is some kind of rash ointment that is better than the product we are currently using called Desitin . I hope the Resinol smells better! Unfortunately we couldn't find any, so I asked a pharmacist at one of the local drugstores to order it for me. We will be able to pick it up later this afternoon. I hope it helps!

Well, Daphne summons. I will try to keep all of you updated on her well-being.

I know that is a lame title. You have to excuse me. I am very tired. I am not used to being so tired. I wonder if Daphne will ever sleep through the night again. She didn't wake us up this much when we first brought her home. She has always been a very good sleeper. I miss sleep. I am overtired now. This makes me feel very cranky and moody.

I am not sure why she is waking up so much. I think that she is still having painful gas and a tummy ache. She slept for eight hours the other night, but that was on her tummy. She hasn't done that since and therefore has been waking up several times during the night. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't scream at the top of her lungs like she was being murdered. We have her sixth- month check-up on Monday. I hope the pediatrician will be able to help us figure this out. Oh, and she gets her flu shot. I am so happy about that. Please note I have yet to find a font that expresses sarcasm. After all this mess and misery she is going to have the added bonus of experiencing mild flu symptoms and a low-grade fever. Lucky girl!

Daphne is fine. She is great. She had her sixth-month check-up today. She is doing everything she is supposed to and more. This means that developmentally she is right on track. Her height and weight are still in the 90th and 97th percentile even though she has only gained two pounds since her last visit. The only "problem" we are having is that she is waking up several times a night. Her pediatrician thinks that this is a result of being comforted at night while she was sick. While comforting her at night (and yes, nursing her) is fine when she isn't feeling good, it isn't something we want her to do all of the time. So, now we have the horrible task of training her to sleep through the night. This is particularly difficult since we didn't have to do this when she was younger. I absolutely refuse let her cry herself to sleep. I can't take it. In fact, Jack is in her room right now trying the old bottle of water trick. Apparently giving babies water instead of breast milk or formula makes them not interested in waking up so much. We also don't want to teach her to be dependent on food for comfort.

This parenting thing is very difficult. You want your kids to be happy and secure all of the time, but sometimes you have to let them be unhappy. I am told this is for their own good. Why does it have to be that way? It is so counterintuitive to let your child cry when you know that you have what will make them feel better. Why is it that this culture thrives on creating independent beings? Is it really that important that infants sleep in their own bed? I love sleeping next to Daphne and I know that she loves sleeping next to me. Am I going to create a serial killer if I don't ban her from my bed? All of this is making me crazy right now and my recent sleep deprivation isn't making me very rational. I've got to stop all of this hippie talk before I start listening to The Grateful Dead and making beads out of clay.

I am feeling a little better today. I wrote yesterday's post while listening to my daughter scream her little head off. It was very difficult because I can't be the one to comfort her at night right now. The burden is all on Jack. After listening to her scream for an hour and a 1/2 we decided to let her sleep with us. Our rationale was that we were trying to solve two problems at once. She is both used to nursing at night and sleeping in bed with us because we let her do both of those things all last week. She slept with us last night, but I didn't nurse her. I think this was a good decision because she didn't wake up until 6:30. I was then able to nurse her and put her back in her crib. She slept in her room until 9:30. I guess this is the solution. We are going to take it one step at a time. The only thing that gives me hope is that in the past she has been a great sleeper.

I on the other hand need to stop being such a freak. I realize that this is just one of the many times in my life that I am going to have to make decisions that make her miserable. Trying to balance parental guilt and what is best for her is such a difficult task. I didn't think I would be this way. I thought I was prepared for all of this. I thought that all of my training in behavioral psychology and functional analysis would help me through situations like this. Who knew that I would be such a softy. Just wait until I have to take her to daycare for the first time. Sigh!

Ahh, sleep. Daphne has decided to go back to her usual routine of sleeping through the night. She slept for eight hours on Wednesday and eleven hours last night. She still hasn't made it back into her crib. She is sleeping in her Pack n Play in our room. I think it is very reassuring for her to sleep where she can hear and smell us. Tonight we are going to try the crib. I hope it works. I don't thinks she is uncomfortable in the Pack n Play, but her crib seems so much nicer.

I am also happy to report that her diaper rash has cleared up and she doesn't have a runny nose any more. It seems that she is back to her normal self.

One day I will be able to eat and drink what I want again. I have been Daphne's main source of nutrition for a year and a half and I feel a little frustrated by it. I have to pay close attention to what I eat and make sure that I am getting enough nutrition for both of us. I even take a vitamin for lactating women that is essentially double a regular vitamin. I also have to worry about my calcium intake, which is difficult for a person who loathes dairy. Someday, hopefully very soon, I won't have to drink my daily glass of icky milk.

I really haven't complained too much about this, but I am a little frustrated today. I have a little cough that is making my throat sore. I really really want a cup of chamomile tea. It would feel so good on my scratchy throat. Unfortunately, herbal tea seems to be frowned upon while breastfeeding. My feeling this week is that by January I would like her to be fully weaned. She will be getting most of her calories from solid food by then. Her pediatrician agreed that this would be a good time to start a gradual weaning process. I guess almost a year of breastfeeding is good for a person who didn't want to breastfeed at all. While I still don't think of breastfeeding as the sacred thing that they try to sell you in the breastfeeding class, I do enjoy knowing that I am giving Daphne the best start in life. I also like that she gets all of my antibodies. I really believe that breastfeeding can help fight off disease later in life. Jack was breastfed and never gets sick, I on the other hand was not and I always get colds in the winter. In my mom's defense it was the seventies and women were not encouraged to breastfeed.

Daphne is doing great. We took a drive up to Lake Macbride on Sunday. She really enjoyed looking at all of the pretty fall leaves.

I just have one last think to say. We were in Dillards last night and came across a whole display of Wiggles products. Very exciting. I especially liked the Anthony Doll.

Why is Daphne so angry? She has become the mighty yelling baby. She yells at me if I hold her, she yells at me if I put her down, she yells and yells and yells. She even yells at her toys. Is there anything I can do to make this baby happy? I think this must be a phase she is going through. She isn稚 crying, she is yelling. Hopefully this will pass soon.

I keep thinking that she is going to figure out how to crawl forward. She gets around pretty good crawling backward. If I turn my back on her while she is on the floor she will have moved a foot or two. I saw a baby who looked like he was a month or two ahead of her (hard to tell since she is so biiig). Anyway, he looked like a gorilla when he crawled. He got up on his toes and moved himself forward with his fists. Very funny. I think that is how Daphne will start. She spends a lot of time arching her back up on her fists and toes. She can also move from side to side and turn herself around and roll several times in a row. I am just waiting for that forward motion.

I think that I need Jack to start blocking certain television stations on our TV. I am sick and tired of being upset by what I see on the news. In fact I think that all first year parents should refrain from watching any news at all. Everything is just so negative and SCARY. I don稚 want to watch any more blips about the War in Iraq or about horrible horrible child abuse or about some kids who decided to haze other kids in school. I also don稚 want 兎xperts� telling me that my baby will be brain damaged if I let her watch TV. I am feeling very defensive about that one this morning.

I guess that is all. I am going to go play with the Dapher now. We are going to stack some blocks this morning.

Yesterday Jack and I were at the Sycamore Mall looking at baby stuff and I got to thinking that it had been months since we had seen a movie. In fact the last time we saw a movie was back in July when we were in Utah. It is very hard living so far away from Grandparents. It would be so easy to just drop her off and go and have a peaceful dinner. Taking Daphne with us to a restaurant is no less than a huge pain in the rear. Even though we can FINALLY put her in a high chair, she still demands all of our attention and by the end of the meal one of us is holding her in one arm and eating with the other. Even when we have had people baby-sit in the past, I just end up spending the entire time worrying that she is screaming or has pooped really big or something. I know it is a dumb thing to complain about. Sorry, I will stop now.

What else? Well, I am still freaked out by the number of hours my television is on. I am one of those people who like using the TV as background noise. Even when I am not watching, I still have it on. I didn't think this was a problem until last week when by chance the TV wasn't on and Daphne sat staring at it like she was waiting for something to appear on screen. Since then I have taken extra care in leaving it off as much as possible and putting on some music instead.

Everything else is great. She is still yelling at us, but I am getting used to it. That's all for today unless something major happens like she actually figures out how to move her hands and knees together and crawls forward.

It looks like it isn't going to be too bad of a day. The weather isn't great, but at least it isn't bone chilling cold. I remember trick or treating in the freezing cold weather. It was so disappointing to put so much effort into a costume and then have to put on a big coat over it. At least we got to wear costumes to school and participate in a school wide parade and eat orange cupcakes. Good Times!

When I was in Junior High we would have a Halloween carnival during school, but here they don't do that. It is kind of disappointing to be a secondary school teacher during the holidays. Elementary teachers have all of the fun. When I was working in a second grade classroom two years ago (was it really that long ago?) I actually got to participate in all of the fun holiday stuff. Now all I can plan on doing is showing PG movies that are holiday themed. Maybe I will go back and get my elementary certification. HA HA, just kidding Jack!

So, we hope to get a bunch of fall themed pictures of Daphne up on her webpage this weekend. She is going to be so cute for Halloween. I know that she is only six months old and doesn't care about costumes, but I do. I can't wait until she is old enough to trick or treat.

Well that is all. Have a Happy Halloween and check back this weekend for pictures of Daphne's first costume on her page.

Jack didn't get the pictures up this weekend of Daphne's first Halloween. I promise they are coming soon! For a preview you can go to Aprille's page.

It's raining here and I love it. The sun doesn't come blazing into Daphne's room so early, so I get to sleep in a little longer.

Babies are gross! Daphne has become a spit collector. She sticks her hands in her mouth and gathers a handful of spit and then offers it to us. Thanks Daph! I am not sure how we are going to break her of this habit. Hopefully it won't go on so long that she is giving her kindergarten teacher this special gift.

We bought Daphne her first shoes yesterday. They are pink high tops with little flowers on the side. We also bought some white Keds but they aren't as cute. I know that babies aren't supposed to wear shoes before they walk, but I am worried that she is going to be cold when she goes outside with just socks on. Besides, these are really cute!

Today while I took a shower Daphne listened to a tape Jack's Mom sent us. It is great! She was so calm while listening to her Grandma read and sing to her. This of course is a BIG hint to the other grandparents. Daphne loves it when people read and sing to her and it is so much better than TV!

As I write this I have to warn anyone who is considering having their first child. You will be covered in spit. Yes, spit. Every inch of me is covered in saliva from my child. I am not sure where it comes from, but it is gross. She has some stuffed animals that get washed so often that I am sure they will be faded and worn out before her first birthday. She has this bunny that gets its ears sucked on and then she sucks the spit back. Gross!

My lesson this week has been not to turn my back on Daphne, not even for two minutes. Yesterday she managed to tear a page out of a magazine and suck the pigment out of it and possibly even swallowed some. I thought that I was watching her, but she managed to turn herself around and do it secretly. She doesn't seem to be affected by it, but boy is that disgusting.

I am also very scared now that she has started crawling forward. Thankfully she is still very slow and isn't able to get very far very fast, but I am still scared to leave her on the floor without my eye on her at all times. How do people manage? I have a pack and play that I can put her in, but eventually she starts squishing her face up against the screen. It is so disturbing to look at that I have to take her out and put her on the floor.

Well, that is all the time I can manage. I have to go now because my little crawling spit factory is summoning me.

On Saturday while Daphne was playing tummy down on the floor she turned herself over and sat up. She looked very surprised and proud of herself. Jack and I were also very surprised. She has been trying to sit up by pulling herself up while on her back. This is a very funny sight because it looks like she is doing mini baby sit-ups. I wasn't expecting her to figure out how to turn herself over onto her tummy and then twist herslf into a sitting position.

She did it several more times this weekend and then resumed crawling practice. She is getting better at crawling, but still isn't very fast. She only crawls when she wants one of her toys or wants to get a better look at the books on our shelf. Most of the time she crawls until she can stick her arm out and reach a toy and then pulls it toward her. She can be such a lazy baby.

So, this has been a huge development week for Daphne. She is crawling, sitting up on her own (which makes her so PROUD) and she is trying so very very hard to stand up. She almost has it, but collapses before she can get all the way up to her feet. She can hold onto the couch and pull herself up to her knees. If Jack or I give her support she can pull herself all the way up. I don't know how I feel about all of this development.

I am working on making everything safe for Daphne's new roaming skills. I have put covers on the doorknobs to keep her out of the closets and plastic things in the outlets to keep her from electrocuting herself. I do have to wonder why I need to put a lock on the toilet. Maybe I will just put one of the doorknob covers on the bathroom door.

Jack is going to be home for a week at Thanksgiving and we are going to finalize all of the safety stuff. We are going to try to attach all of the big furniture to the walls. Jack is particularly sensitive about this because when he was a small child a bookcase fell over on him. He still has a scar on his forehead from the accident.

The one thing I am most resistant about is getting rid of my poisonous plants. I guess I am going to have to give some of them away or euthanize them. Very painful for me. They are my children. I have raised most of them from very small plants or seeds. (Silent weeping)

So, Daphne pulled herself up to a standing position while holding onto her crib rail this morning. I couldn't believe it. I don't know whether to celebrate or cry. She is going through milestones like a crazy woman. Proof of this is that she has a bruise on her cheek from falling on one of her toys last night. It won't be long now before she is walking (wimper). Jack's sister was an early walker, so I guess Daphne is following in her footsteps (no pun intended).

Daphne is doing so many things. In addition to sitting, crawling, and pulling herself to a standing position, she now says Dada! I know, I know, she isn't saying it to Jack. She is just saying it as part of her babble. She won't be able to call us Dada or Mama on purpose for several months. I don't expect it to happen until her first birthday. It is still fun to hear. We get so excited that she stops talking and gets a very confused look on her face. I imagine that she is trying to figure out what we are so happy about, so she can do it again and again. This is what happens when she laughs. We laugh so she laughs again. It isn't so easy with words.

While watching Daphne during the day reach all of these milestones is fun and heartwarming, her night behavior is not so endearing. She has wanted to party all night long Lionel Richie style. She wakes up several times a night and no amount of love, cuddling, cosleeping or (gasp) feeding will make her go back to sleep. She isn't mad or in pain or anything. Truly, she just wants to play. Jack thinks it is a developmental phase where she wants to try out all of her new skills, even in the middle of the night. It has been much worse. Back when she had an ear infection her night wakings were awful because she was screaming in pain. This is just annoying.

I have never considered myself a competitive person. So, why is it that I am so obsessed with my daughter's development? I pay way too much attention to whether she has reached all of her milestones by the correct time. It doesn't help that I get a newsletter every week from BabyCenter telling me what my child SHOULD be doing. This usually isn't a source of aggravation because she has been reaching all of her physical milestones, but the last couple of newsletters haven't been so pleasant. Apparently she should be playing with her toys in a more sophisticated manner. The BabyCenter folks suggest that not only should she be able to stack blocks, but sort her toys by type. Hmmm, they don't mention the importance of sticking every toy into your mouth and sucking on it until it is completely covered in saliva. Is this an important milestone or is my child just a little bit odd?

I can tell you right now Daphne is neither capable of stacking or sorting anything. She does try to pull all of my books off the bookshelf. She even managed to pull down a copy of Edward Albee plays. She opened the book and stared at it for a while before trying to stick it in her mouth. At least she has good taste. Oh dear that is my second accidental pun. I am so sorry.

An example of Daphne playing with her toys rather than munching on them was last night in her tub. She has several waterproof books that she likes to have in her bath with her. Usually she is just chewing on them, but last night she kept trying to keep it under water. It was so funny. She was having a very difficult time accepting the fact that if she let go it would come to the surface. She must have pushed on it ten times before giving up. It is moments like these that give me hope she won't be spreading saliva all over the world forever.

You know, I feel like I have spent the last twelve years in a transition phase. One day I am going to wake up and realize that this is my real life. Iowa City is the perfect town for this. Everyone I know seems to be in a permanent transition phase. That is probably why you can't wave a stick around here without hitting someone with three Master's degrees and a Ph.D.

Anyway, Jack and I are having some serious discussions about our future right now. We are trying to figure out what is the best course to take. Our first consideration is Daphne's welfare. Thank goodness I went to grad school before we had her. I doubt I would have gone. We love her, but she makes everything so complicated. We can't just up and move somewhere without thinking about the risks involved.

So, here we are. Jack really likes his job (or finds it stress free). I need to get a job next year or I risk losing my teaching license. I don't know if I can get a job in a town so saturated with teachers in graduate programs. Jack and I want him to get his PhD but we don't know if this is the best time to get further into debt. If only I could win the Powerball, but "you've got to be in it to win it". The only way I am going to win the lottery is if I find a winning ticket on the ground. Even then I would feel so guilty I would probably give it all away to charity.

So, there we are. I feel gloomy about our future, but really I should feel lucky that we have so many options. We could live anywhere we wanted. We both have practical degrees that will provide us a decent income and job security. It is just the figuring out what to do that is soooo difficult.

Daphne is doing great by the way. She is sleeping through the night again. I think the spinach I gave her made her gassy. I will try again in a week or two and see if I am right.

Daphne and I went to the mall yesterday to do some early Christmas shopping. Everywhere we went she would call out Dada Daddy da to everyone who came within one or two feet of us. Believe me, this made more than a few men uncomfortable. Dada is her favorite word. She says it over and over and over and over. Everything is a daddy or a dada or a da. She sings little da da songs. I am sure this is because we encouraged it at first by laughing and I know that Jack enjoys hearing it. I just wish she would add in a little nga or bo bo now and again. I swear she has a bigger vocabulary than just da.

While we were walking through the mall a little three year old girl came running up yelling, "baby, baby!" She came up to Daphne and got very excited about a toy bunny she was holding. In fact she was so excited that she grabbed Daphne's bunny and went running down the mall screaming, "I want a toy!" Her mother was horribly embarrassed and went after her daughter. Daphne remained calm the whole time. The bunny is a new toy and she isn't very attached to it. Had it been her turtle I am sure she would have been very upset.

Daphne had to go to the clinic to get her second flu shot this morning. She received the first half at her sixth month check-up. This was the follow up shot. For some unexpected reason she started to chortle and chuckle while we were in the waiting room. It was so loud that everyone stopped what they were doing and several nurses poked their heads out to see who was laughing so hard. She got her shot, but wasn't too upset by it. Her legs are so thick I don't think she feels much pain. I guess that is one of many good things about having a chubby baby!

The laughter didn't stop when we got home. She laughed while I fed her rice cereal and bananas for lunch and laughed while playing with her toys in her play pen. She is even laughing right now while she naps. I thought she was crying, but when I went into her room she was curled up with her eyes closed tight in a fit of giggles. I guess she was having a good dream.

I also have a reason to be in a good mood. My boyfriend
Colin is on A&E all day today. They are showing a marathon of Pride and Prejudice today.

It rained very hard here last night. Iowa rain is so amazing. In fact, on my short list of things I like about Iowa City rain ranks almost at the top. I grew up in the dry mountains of Utah, so I had never seen anything like it until I moved here. The sky just opens up and rain comes down like someone has turn on a faucet. I really like the rain as long as I don't have to drive in it. Daphne on the other hand did not like the rain last night and woke up crying five or six times. I think she woke up when the thunder was really loud and was mad because she was alone in the dark. It wasn't a great night for any of us.

Daphne is turning into quite the picky eater. She started out so adventurous. Just a few weeks ago she was eating anything I put on a spoon. Well, except applesauce. She has never liked applesauce. Now she refuses just about everything I put in front of her. Yesterday, Jack decided to give her some real banana. Well, she HATED it! I think it must have tasted like ONE THOUSAND bananas especially since all she has known of banana is the bland kind found in glass jars and rice cereal.

This morning I tried to give her some rice cereal, but she refused to eat it. I then tried to give her a mixture of pear, oatmeal, and cinnamon. To me this tastes wonderful, but to Daphne it tastes like something she has to spit back out at me while screaming. The only two things she will eat without complaint are green beans and peas. So, for breakfast Daphne had a whole jar of mushed up peas. Yummy!

By the way, go see ELF. It is very funny.

Apparently the only toys Daphne needs are a burpcloth and a TV remote. These hold just as much fascination as the toys we have bought her. She loves the remote. She hugs it close to her body and then holds it out in front of her for a better view. She can makes sounds with it by slapping it on the floor or on the couch. It has wonderful buttons to push and it has a nice edge for her to chew on. It is the perfect toy. We gave her an old one that doesn't work any more to play with. She was getting very annoyed with me because I wouldn't let her play with the one we use.

Jack is home today. It is more of a vacation for me than for him. I get to have someone here to help me with all of the baby care and cleaning. I didn't think I would even care about weekends and holidays when I decided to stay at home with Daphne, but now I look forward to Jack being home. I can actually take a normal shower and take my time when eating breakfast and lunch. It is also nice because I can run my errands without dragging Daphne along. It is especially hard now that it is getting cold here. I feel so bad about taking her out in the freezing wind. She doesn't seem to mind the cold. She just snuggles closer to me until I get her into the warm car.

We had a nice long Thanksgiving weekend. Jack was home for most of the week and we just hung out and did some projects around here. It was very nice. He is taking some time off at the end of the month. Daphne (if she could understand) and I are looking forward to it.

I had to take Daphne to the doctor this morning. She has been waking us up several times at night for the past week. I think it is because I have FINALLY weaned her from the last breastfeeding at night. I am still feeding her in the morning, but I hope to have her completely weaned by January. This next to last step in the process has been very difficult for her and us. Even though I am sure that is what she is waking up angry about we had to take her into the clinic to rule out an ear infection. Thankfully she just has a little clear water in her ears, nothing to worry about. I was relieved, but a little angry that I had to spend two hours at the doctor's office just to have them look in her ears.

So that is about it. We are looking forward to the holidays. It is going to be fun to have a child around at Christmas. Her aunt Mauria bought her a Keepsake Ornament for our tree. I am a little worried about putting a tree up because she has started pulling herself up by grabbing onto things. You can see her page for more information about her recent development.

So, I have just returned from the eye doctor. While I was waiting for my exam I had to fill out a card with my information like phone number, address, ect. The place I seem to get stuck on a lot lately is the blank space next to the word occupation. What is my occupation? Mommy? Stay-at-home Mommy? Person who is temporarily not working in order to keep her child out of day care for as long as possible? That is what I really want to put, but there just isn't enough space. The one word I really dread is "homemaker". Yuck! The word homemaker makes me think of someone who has a sparkling clean house and has dinner waiting for her husband when he gets home from work. A homemaker loves to craft with her other homemaker friends.

Let me tell you something. Unless making microwave popcorn or putting a frozen waffle in the toaster counts, I don't ever cook. I am not a crafter, unless making cute little imovies of my child is a craft. Whether I clean or not is debatable. I do in fact know how to use such products as Clorox and Windex and I very rarely have dirty dishes in the sink. However, I have not made my bed in three days and I have a huge pile of laundry that may or may not get done by the weekend. Hmmm. Tough one. I would say that yes I clean, but I do not enjoy it.

So, what do other people put down next to occupation? Today I put down stay-at-home-mom. For some reason saying that makes it feel like a choice

DISCLAIMER

After I walked away from this post I thought I should go back and add a disclaimer. Just in case anyone is offended by my post today I just want to say a few things. First I love staying home with my baby. It is the most rewarding thing I have done in my life (even better that getting my MA). I also want to say that I respect all people (men and women) who make choices about working or staying at home. I just think that the job of being a parent doesn't get the respect it deserves in this society blah blah blah you have heard it all before. Anyway, I just wanted to make that clear and I still hate the title of homemaker.

Last night Daphne experienced her first snow. She looked so pretty and lovely in her white coat and purple hat with the snow falling wispfully (is that a word) around her head. I wish I could have taken a picture. We couldn't tell if she even noticed that snowflakes were falling from the sky. She is so easily distracted that I wouldn't be surprised if she missed the whole event.

I don't know if you can tell from the new pictures, but she just recently got a lot taller. Back when she was 3 and 4 months old we used to get a lot of comments about how chubby she was now it is all about how tall she is. I don't know how to take these comments. Sometimes I feel like I should have a black hat and a cane and call out "two bits to see the freakishly large baby". Seriously, do strangers really have to come up to me and inform me of how big my baby is? Why do they think I need this information? Sometimes they tell me that their child was big too, like we are part of some freak show child secret club. It can be very annoying. I don't think she is that big. She is on the tall end of the curve, but she isn't Andre the Giant. In a world where kids are starving and lacking in medical care being a little tall for your age isn't something to get all worked up about, especially since she is just 7 1/2 months old.

Well, we put up our Christmas tree. A little early for us. I guess I am a bit bored or something. I wasn't going to put one up this year because I am afraid Daphne is going to pull it down onto her head or pull the ornaments off. I decided to put the old tree up because for the first time ever Jack wants a Christmas tree. He said that it is important for Daphne to have a tree for her first Christmas. In my mind Jack wanting to help me decorate the tree is equivalent to the Grinch's heart growing three sizes bigger.

I solved the baby danger problem three ways. First I didn't put anything on the lower branches. This way she can't pull anything off. The second step I took was avoiding putting on anything made of glass or that is fragile. The final step in baby proofing the tree was to tie everything with ribbons instead of using those sharp hook things. I took one look at those and thought about all the horrible things that she could do with them. So, lets all hope that there aren't any baby plus tree catastrophes this year.

For now she seems a little frightened of it and doesn't to want to go anywhere near it.

You know, I think that the lesson I have learned from being a parent for these last eight months is that I need to learn to trust my own instincts. I have made some huge mistakes like maybe just maybe I fed her too much early on and she has suffered some diaper rash because of my overuse of diaper wipes. When it comes to the important things like her health, well-being, and ability to sleep through the night I think that I have done a good job. She is a happy, chubby, giggly baby. I love her so much, especially when she falls asleep next to me and I can feel her little breath on my face. I just fall in love with her over and over again.

This leads me to my thoughts today. There have been several times (three to be exact) when Daphne has gone through a sleepless night phase. These phases have lasted anywhere from one week to three weeks and have been the result of ear infections and some bad gas from eating some spinach (that we later found out had milk listed in the ingredients). Otherwise, Daphne has been sleeping through the night since we brought her home from the hospital. She is a deep sleeper who has been known to sleep through diaper changes and baths. Each time she goes through a sleepless night phase people have told us that we need to let her "cry it out". We aren't "crying it out" type parents. We are the type of parents who bring the baby to bed with us. We even took the bed off it's frame so it would be lower to the floor because we were concerned she might crawl off the side. We also have surrounded the box spring with a moat of blanket and pillows. It looks strange, but it makes it safe for her.

So, for the last week and a 1/2 she has been waking up several times a night. Jack and I are exhausted. I even took her to the doctor last week to see if she had an ear infection. Many people have told us that we should let her cry. They inform me that she will never learn to sleep on her own if we don't do this. I agree that sometimes babies wake up upset because they are alone and some babies have a difficult time with sleep. If Daphne hadn't proved herself a deep sleeper early on I probably would have let her cry it out a few times. But, this post isn't about whether it is right or wrong to let your baby cry, it is about my instincts as a Mother. I knew something wasn't right with Daphne and I was correct. This morning she reached over and bit my finger and lo and behold she has some top teeth coming in. Good Grief! What if I had let her cry through the night like people told me to? Can you imagine being in pain and having someone put you in a dark room and close the door while you are screaming? I can just see Jack doing that to me. "You don't feel good?" "Well, let me put you into bed and close the door so you can just scream it out." It makes me sick to my stomach to think of my child all alone while she is hurting. You know some books that I have read suggest letting your child scream through the night even if they have tooth pain because there isn't anything you can do about it. I swear, that is almost a direct quote from one of my baby books. I think maybe I will go throw it in the trash. Horrible!

So, very long post, but I am a very emotional about this subject.

Yesterday Daphne gave me a good scare when she stood up in her playpen and let go of the sides. She stood solo for about five seconds before falling on her bum. She stood with her arms out and a look of extreme concentration on her face while she tried to balance herself. Very cute, but scary. I predict she will be standing up solo by Christmas and walking not long after that. The reason I think this is because she stands in her crib (while holding onto the rail) and lifts her legs up like she is marching. Is this a prewalking activity? It sure looks like it.

I am sitting here in one of my maternity sweaters from last year. It is so comfy. I have about six of these that I wore over and over. I feel ok about wearing them at home, but I wouldn't go out in one. Well, maybe I would if I wanted people to be nice to me again. People are so nice when you are pregnant. They open doors for you and let you go ahead in line at the grocery store. The only exception to this was when I would go downtown. The students weren't exactly the most gracious people. A fine example of this was when I fell face-first off of the escalator and no one offered to help me up. Selfish college students!

Daphne is asleep. I have found a new way to get her to take a nap. We slow dance to Olivia Newton John. Something about the Xanadu soundtrack must be very soporific. This poor child is going to have the worst taste in music. When we aren't listening to "I Honestly Love You" or "Suddenly". I put on some Karen Carpenter and dance in a two step Junior High fashion. Ahh bliss!

The baby is 8 months old today! Oh my gosh and golly! I can't believe how fast time is flying!

It is exciting to see Daphne develop new skills and improve on the old ones. Seriously though, it is getting annoying. I am exhausted of saying, "no!" I can tell you that Daphne comprehends what I am saying. When she goes for plugs I say "no." When she tries to climb into the dishwasher I say, "no." When she unwraps one of Jack's Christmas presents I say, "no." When she grabs my hair and pulls on it really hard I scream, "NO!" She understands what I am saying because she stops what she is doing. I am not sure if it is the word or the way I say it with my firm teacher/mommy voice. Because I believe firmly in behavior management and want to reward good behavior I always thank her after I say, "no!" How long will this last? I bet another month and then she will just ignore me. Maybe by then she will be bored of pulling all of my books off the shelves and move onto something more annoying like dumping the trash all over the floor.

In other recent developments that I have neglected to write about is that Daphne can feed herself a bottle. She has been doing this for about three weeks now. Jack is the one responsible for teaching her. He decided over the Thanksgiving holiday that she was ready to hold her own bottle. He worked very hard at this and now she can sit in her playpen or in her highchair and feed herself. Just recently Jack started giving her a few Cheerios. It scares me to see her eating something that she could choke on, but he watches her very close. We are just doing what the pediatrician told us at her 6 month visit. She said that Daphne would be ready to eat finger foods when she was 8 months old. It is still scary.

We had a nice weekend. We finished up our Christmas shopping and finally got everything shipped off to Utah. On Sunday we took Daphne to the Iowa Children's Museum. She loved playing in the water and climbing over the big soft blocks in the baby and toddler room. We will have to go back soon.

Daphne has started speaking in a low growly voice. I guess I shouldn't have called her Damien in the womb. She says, "daddy, dada, daddy" over and over again in a voice that sounds like she has been possessed by some demon. It can be kind of creepy (and funny). I guess as long as her eyes aren't turning red and her head isn't spinning around we are safe.

I am trying to capture it on camera, but it is very hard. If I do manage to capture it, I will have Jack put it up on her page.

I have been listening to a lot of holiday themed music lately because the local radio stations are playing 24 hours of it. I like most Christmas music, but there are a few songs that get on my nerves. So, for your reading pleasure I will list my top five most detested Christmas songs:

1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. (Do I need to explain why?)
2. Little Drummer Boy
3. Do You Hear What I Hear (especially when sung by Whitney Houston)
4. Christmas Shoes (A song about a boy who doesn't have enough money to buy shoes for his Mom who is dying of cancer.)
5. The Twelve Days of Christmas

The top five best songs are all from the Charlie Brown Christmas special and the Carpenters Christmas cd. I also like a song called "What are You Doing New Year's Day", but that isn't a Christmas song.

Any thoughts?

Sorry this isn't about Daphne, but it is my blog too!

I usually do the grocery shopping on the weekends. It is a good excuse for me to get away from the family and be by myself for a while. It is also a great way for Jack and Daphne to spend some quality time together. BUT, yesterday I had to get some stuff from the store. I bundled Daphne up and put her in the car seat (this should be considered for an Olympic event) and took off for Hyvee. Of course she fell asleep the minute we were on the road and stayed asleep while I took her out of her car seat and carried her into the store. I thought she would wake up as soon as I put her in the grocery cart, but she stayed asleep. In fact, she flopped forward and rested her head on the handle. I put my coat under her head so she would have some padding. She stayed like this for almost the entire time. She woke up in time for me to wait in line at the check out. Believe me, she looked very confused when she woke up. So, why oh why can she sleep while being dragged out of a car seat and put in a rickety cart, but she can't sleep in her crib for more than 10 minutes (for naps)? She is a deep sleeper at only the most unusual times. When we bring her home from somewhere she will sleep through her coat and shoes being taken off, but the minute her head hits the (flannel) sheets she wakes up. Strange!

Oh, now that the weather is colder Daphne is wearing a new snowsuit (thanks Grandma!). She looks like an angel in it. Well, she looks like an angel when she is sleeping. If you thought she hated hats, boy does she hate the snowsuit. I have some great grumpy pictures of her wearing it. BUT, we LOVE it! It is very comforting to know that she is warm and snuggly when it is cold and windy.

Daphne is really attached to her bottle. I think it is going to be harder to wean her from it than it has been to wean her from nursing. She has begun demanding a bottle in the morning while I am trying to feed her cereal. So, Jack and I have started giving her a sippy cup full of water instead of a bottle after feeding her solids. She seems to like it almost as well as the bottle. She does drop it more often which can be a huge pain. When does the drop it so Mommy and Daddy have to pick it up game end?

We have also introduced biter biscuits . You wouldn't think that a hard cookie that tastes like a stale Nilla Wafer could be so messy. She sucks on it until the end is all mushy and then somehow gets it all over her face and hands. Gross, gross, gross.

We are excited about Christmas. Having a child around makes me want to do Christmassy things. We went over to Bryon and Mauria's on Sunday and made disgustingly good sugar cookies. I ate about a hundred and fifty of them. I guess my need to ingest lard based sugar products is more important than losing that last 20 pounds.

So, it is the day after Christmas. We had a very nice holiday. Bryon and Mauria came over on Christmas Eve. We ate some really good pie that Jack made and opened a couple of presents. We watched part of the Nutcracker until Bryon and I counted how many times we had seen it (too many) and turned it off. Jack read Daphne "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and then we went to sleep. We spent Christmas Day at Bryon and Mauria's house. After eating some yummy brunch we opened presents and then watched a wonderful movie called Whale Rider . After a wonderfully starchy Christmas dinner we went to a friend's house for dessert. A very nice day. Daphne only had a few crabby moments. We took her playpen so she could take lots of naps. She even took one on her aunt's shoulder.

I hope all of you had a nice holiday no matter how you spent it. Many thanks to all the friends and family who sent us gifts. We love everything. I look forward to dressing up Daphne in all of her new clothes and watching her discover all of her new toys and books.

We wish you all a well and happy new year!

I can't find a good calendar. That is what I get for waiting this long. Two years ago I found a great calendar at Prairie Lights. Ever since then I have been disappinted. It wouldn't really matter, but I have a wall in our kitchen that is the perfect size for a calendar. I can't imagine what else would go there. If I can't find anything I am going to have this large white space to deal with. I know, it isn't an interesting thing to worry about.

I finally decided to get Daphne a Winnie the Pooh calendar for her room. I like it alot but I really wanted the Olivia but it was sold out. Sigh! Next year I am going to buy my calendars early.

Well, things have changed a bit. I am no longer the center of Daphne's world. Now Jack is her rock star. She can't get enough of her Daddy. The minute he walks through the door she races over to him. If I happen to be holding her she climbs over me toward him. If he leaves the room she either screams or chases after him. More than once she has followed him into the bathroom. I read somewhere that infants go through stages where they prefer one parent over the other. I am kind of enjoying it. Jack on the other hand is getting a little frustrated. He loves her, but doesn't want to hold her every second that he is home. He spends a lot of time saying, "Mommy is good too!"

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope all of you Utah folks manage to dig your way out of the snow in time to enjoy the holiday!

Daphne slept through the night!!! Yes, you heard me. She slept a full nine hours in her crib. Yes, in her crib. We didn't let her cry or anthing. She just slept. She hasn't come close to doing anything like that since she was six months old. I am not sure why she slept so long and I don't want to get my hopes up for tonight. Let's just say we are all in a very good mood this morning. It really is a happy new year.

Ok, so I am posting again today. Jack and I just got back from the mall. We went out to buy Daphne some new bigger clothes (fun) and buy me some new jeans (horrific). I wish someone would open a store called Fat Jeans U.S.A. I would shop there. It would save me the time I spend time wading through crap sizes for women with the bodies of six year olds. I also want there to be a section in Fat Jeans U.S.A. for those of us under five feet five inches. There is nothing more disappointing to me than finding a great pair of jeans that are so long I end up dragging them under my shoes. I know, I could roll them up and maybe I could even pin them back eighties style. I would much rather just shop for Daphne. I hope she grows up to be tall like Jack instead of short like me. So far it is looking like she is going to be a tall lady. :)

Many of the titles I give must seem strange to other people since they are mostly inside jokes for Jack's benefit. Today's title is also an inside joke for all of you Edie Brickell fans (from the 90's or maybe it was the 80's).

Anyway, Daphne has a new weird habit. She insists on taking off one of her socks. Not both, just one. It isn't a right or left foot thing. I guess she gets one sock off and that satisfies her need for foot freedom. She does the same thing with shoes. Strange!

We went up and had lunch with Jack for the second time this week. We went to this noodle place that I can't remember the name of. I had a pineapple and green onion stir-fry. Does that sound good? Well, it was. It was nice to spend some time with Jack. Daphne LOVES it. It was so warm today we decided to take some outdoor pictures. It was raining and foggy in the ped mall so the pictures turned out really nice. I am sure that Jack will get them up sometime before spring. He is working on the holiday pictures (although there aren't many of them since we mostly used the camcorder to document Christmas).

Do any of you have New Year's resolutions? I never have, but his year I would like to lose weight and dust more. My resolution for Daphne would be for her to sleep at least six hours without waking up. Hmmm I think that Jack's New Year resolution would be to see Lord of the Rings. Or would that be a New Year Wish? It is hard to see movies when you have a baby. It is especially hard to find a way to see a five hour movie.

Did I spell everything wrong today? I am not going to spell check. Sorry about that for all of you grammar nerds. Do you hear me Jack?

Warning: The following post contains references to body fluids and includes a lot of sarcasm!

The baby has a cold. The baby has a nasty, sticky, snot producing cold. We are torturing her with the nasal aspirator (snot bulb). She is torturing us with her baby sleep deprivation tactics. Daphne woke us up last night every hour on the hour. We broke the rules and fed her about eight ounces of formula and some white grape juice during the night. Of course we fed her so much liquid that she ended up peeing all over us. Snot and urine. That is a great combination. Jack says that nature makes babies cute and loveable so that at times like these we don't leave them on the side of the road. Just kidding. We love her no matter how much mucus is covering her face and arms. You can't blame him for making jokes like that. He had to rock her for hours while standing up last night. She wouldn't let him sit down at all and she wouldn't let me hold her. All she wanted was her daddy to walk around the living room while she slept on his shoulder. We tried everything we could think of (except drugging her). Finally we got a couple of hours sleep when she gave in and they fell asleep on our Lazy Boy recliner.

It also didn't make anything better that I stayed up watching The Ring on HBO last night. Not smart! I hate horror movies. It was some kind of self-destructive maneuver to watch a movie that is going to give me nightmares for weeks. I still can't get up to get a drink of water without thinking about that movie about the boy who sees dead people. Jack really needs to put some kind of v-chip like thing to keep me from watching shows that are disturbing because clearly I have no self-control.

Daphne and I are stuck inside. We have become hermits. She is sick and it is way too cold and icy to go anywhere. We didn't go anywhere yesterday and I don't think there is a chance that we will get to go anywhere on Tuesday. So, here we are. I am getting cabin fever. I wish I had stocked up on movies so I didn't have to watch horrible daytime television.

Daphne slept much better last night. In an attempt to keep her as upright as possible we put a couple of pillows between our mattress and the box spring. I think this helped her breathe a lot better. The problem this morning is that she is very dehydrated and has an awful cough. I am pushing fluids like crazy. I called the pediatric clinic and they said to keep the air moist, give her lots of fluids, and keep her cozy. That is about all I can do. Jack suggested reading her a story in the bathroom with the shower on (you know, warm steam). I think we will try that this afternoon. If nothing else it will loosen up the mucus in her nose. I think Daphne's new nickname is going to be "rope snot". JUST KIDDING!

Stuck inside, stuck inside. Dapne and I are suck inside. Not much to say. It is 4 degrees outside with the wind chill factor it is -17. I went up to the The Arc yesterday to turn in some paperwork and they gave me a nice pen for Christmas/New Year. That is the most exciting thing that has happened to me for the last couple of days. I went out this morning to get the mail and there wasn't anything. I am running out of things to do. I have balanced our checkbook like 30 times and done a million loads of laundry.

Daphne doesn't seem bored. She is currently watching Jo Jo's Circus on the Disney Channel. I am not sure how I feel about Jo Jo's Circus. It certainly is not good as The Wiggles.

Daphne seems to be feeling much better. She slept a lot more last night (but didn't go to sleep until 12:30). Her nose isn't as runny, but she still has a bad cough. She is getting her energy back. I can't keep up with her crawling. If I look away for five seconds she manages to get down the hall and into the bathroom (her new favorite hangout). It keeps me busy which is what I need right now.

Is it normal for a baby Daphne's age (8 1/2 months) to have bruises? Is it her fair skin? She falls down a lot because she lets go of the furniture and tries to stand. Sometimes she tries to stand in her crib and falls back onto the slats. I think that is how she got a bruise that is on her cheek. It has me worried that we are letting her fall down too much.

Do I need to worry or is this all a natural part of growing up? Do I need to purchase this bumper bonnet? That seems a little absurd to me. What do you all think? Am I being too neurotic?

So, I am on a new/old weight loss plan. I think the only way to truly lose weight and keep it off is to eat less and exercise. I am not exercising yet, but I am eating less. I don't like dieting. I am not the type of person who can deny herself certain foods. I could never be on one of those low carb diets. I would last about 6 hours and then be crying for a saltine cracker. I lost 30 pounds 3 or 4 years ago just by keeping track of what I ate. I write down everything and then at the end of the day when I am craving some ice cream I look at what I have eaten and then decided if that bowl of delicious chocolate ice cream is worth it. It worked for me before, so I hope it works for me now. I also don't have any expectations of losing weight quickly. I figure just keeping track of my calories will help me lose a pound a week. By summer I should be down to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Daphne is feeling MUCH better. She still has some cold symptoms, but it isn't nearly as bad as it was. However, the bruise is still there and it looks like it is changing from blue to brown. Sigh!

Let's see, what else? Eliana is coming over today. That will make Daphne very happy. She likes to play with Eli's shoes because they have a zipper on them. I am just glad to have the company. Things are looking up. I looks like it is going to get warmer and warmer as we get closer to the weekend. Maybe Daphne and I can take a trip to the mall on Saturday.

I have never been a big fan of taking medicine. I have a tender stomach so most of it makes me sick (I won't go into detail). BUT, I am very excited that I can take some Sudafed today! Now that I have officially weaned Daphne I can eat and drink whatever I want. I can even take an asprin or drink some tea. WhoHee!

The whole weaning process wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I had read that it was going to be very hard and that Daphne would fight it and I would be miserable, but it was just the opposite. I just did it very slowly over two months. I think she is a little mad at me now that she doesn't get to nurse in the morning, but she doesn't complain too much.

I think the whole breastfeeding process went really well. This is especially true since I didn't want to do it at all. My intial plan was to do it until I didn't like it anymore (I secretly planned to only do it for a week or two). I never thought I would last nine months. I am glad that I lasted so long. I think that Daphne will be much better off because of it.

Oh, and I got on the scale this morning and I have lost some weight! I guess my weight loss plan is working. And I even broke down and ate some fast food last night. WhoHee WhoHee!

Here we are another day another morning. Daphne keeps changing her schedule on me. For about two months she was going to sleep at 10:30 and waking up around 8:30. This was a great schedule for me. All this changed last weekend when she started getting sick. She couldn't sleep because she couldn't breathe. Now her schedule is all messed up and I don't know how to change it back. For the past few days she has been sleeping through the night, but she won't go to sleep until 12:30 and wakes up at 10:30. I would wake her up earlier, but I am afraid she would nap more during the day and still not go to sleep at 10:30. I hope when she is over this cold she starts going back to her old sleep schedule.

By the way. I try to give hints in the title about what my post is going to be about. This should tell you whether or not you should read it. For instance, yesterday I wrote about breastfeeding. If this subject makes you nervous or uncomfortable, then I don't read it and check in again the next day. But this suggestion won't work if you have no self control like me. I am the person who can't turn off scary movies or STRANGE religious TV shows.

There are new pictures up on the Daphne page.

Remember when Daphne was five months old? She slept 10-12 hours a night without waking up. Her bowels only moved once every six days. I could put her down on the floor and walk away without her moving more than one or two inches. She didn't make a huge mess when eating. And she took lots and lots of naps. Good Times!

Now my "older baby" has become a little more difficult. If she were a super hero she would be called The Saboteur. She keeps all our normal daily activities from going smoothly. She is always crawling underfoot, especially in the kitchen near the stove and dishwasher. She thwarts all attempts to get her diaper changed and clothes put on. She cries if we leave her alone for five seconds, she cries if we try to put her snowsuit/coat/ hat on, she cries if we try to put her in her car seat/highchair, she cries if we won't hold her and then cries if we won't put her down. She gets upset if I try to vacuum or if I try to take the remote/phone/calculator away (I have learned to always have another toy on hand for trading). I am not sure what she wants most of the time. I know, I know it is only going to get more difficult. I will probably look back on this stage as "good times".

I love her bunches though! My little saboteur!

Wow, Daphne is nine months old today. I can't believe how fast the time is going. By this time next year she isn't going to be my little baby anymore. It isn't fair that they get big so fast. I get nine years of adolescence, but only one year of squishy, cute baby? I just doesn't seem fair!

When I was a small little child my brother Bryon used to sing a song that starts like this: "When you're sliding into first and you're pants begin to ......." I don't suppose I need to finish that. Well, when I was a youngster I am sure that songs about diarrhea were hilarious, now that I am an adult with a baby who has loose loose bowels, it isn't so funny. Daphne and I have been in poop crisis all day long. It isn't enjoyable for either of us. I am not sure what the culprite is, but I suspect it has something to do with Jack's interest in introducing her to new foods. Is it the wheat bread she got yesterday or the avacado she got the day before? Who knows? Personally I would like to stick to the safety of Gerber in a jar until she is at least a year old. But, she has to learn to eat even if it means the occasional diarrhea.

Jack is home sick today. I am glad because he has been coughing and hacking non-stop for the last few days. I am glad that he decided to rest today!

I took Daphne to the pediatrician this morning. Her ears are clear. I am so happy about that. I was worried that all of the mucus drainage was going to cause her to have an ear infection.

The really, really bad news is that there is something wrong with her eyes. The pediatrician noticed that one of her eyes wanders a little. I had and still have the same problem. Clearly I have passed a genetic eye dysfunction onto my child (sigh, bad bad Mommy). We are having her screened next week for something called strabismus. It is a condition that I suffered from as a child that eventually required surgery on both of my eyes to fix.

So, I am really, really sad right now. I hope that all they do is make her wear an eye patch for a few months to strengthen the weak eye. The worst-case scenario will be surgery. I am promising myself to not freak out until we see the eye specialist.

That is all for now. I am going to go try not to cry.

Daphne and I went grocery shopping today. While I was loading the trunk with all the bags and stuff I noticed that I had put some things underneath the cart and forgotten to pay for them. I actually thought about just leaving without paying. Afterall, how much could they care if I mangaged to get out of the store without setting off any alarms and what do I owe Hyvee anyway? But, I figured that I should go back in and pay for the items since I could use all of the good Karma I can get right now and what if it was some kind of weird test the universe was giving me.

So, I went back in and told the cashier what had happened and she told me that I was a good person. Good person? Hmmm. Well, I don't know if I am that good of a person. I mean returning to the grocery store to pay for items that total came to under $10 doesn't seem that good compared to say Ghandi. What do I do that is so "good". Mostly I am just a typical selfish American. I take care of my baby and I consume goods. That is about all I do for the world. While I don't think I am intentionally evil or anthing, I certainly don't live a life full of goodness and charity.

When I really think about it I am not such a good person at all. I dress my child in clothes that were most certainly made in sweat shops. Probably these clothes were made by women who have children they never see because they slave most of the day just to make cheap clothes for me to buy at the mall. I am also a very inconsiderate driver and I have never in my life given up a seat to an older person. I drive when I should walk or ride my bike, I don't pay attention to whether or not I am buying cruelty free products, and I don't give money to charity.

Sure you could say that I am a good person because I work with kids with special needs. But it's not like I am volunteering or anything. I will get paid to be a special ed teacher.

I don't want to cause pain or grief to other people, but does that make me a good person?

It's got me thinking about all this Iowa caucus crap. Even though I am VERY liberal minded I am not going to caucus. I am not really interested in participating. It doesn't really matter who the candidate is. The only thing I care about in politics is how the government spends money. I would like more money spend on education and social programs and less on war and space exploration. I would also like everyone to just relax and let people who are gay get married and adopt children.

Thanks to the kindness and generosity of Daphne's aunt and uncle, Jack and I were finally able to see The Return of the King. It was lovely to get out and actually be able to see a movie. I just wish the movie hadn't been so looooong! Geez, that is a long movie. It reminds me of that song "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend." I liked it, but it was a little too violent for me at times. I was sitting next to a girl who looked like she was 9 or 10. I think that is too young for a movie that is so full of fighting and gore. I had to look away several times because of utter grossness, but when I looked at this little girl she was staring at the screen without flinching. Amazing! When I was that old I was afraid of ET .

Daphne had a great time with Bryon and Mauria. She didn't seem to miss us at all. I thought I would walk in and she would smile big and crawl to me with a look of relief that I had finally returned on her face, but she was indifferent. It is good that she is so happy and comfortable with them.

By the way, I have a big crush on Aragorn, but only in this movie. I don't find him even remotely attractive without his dirty, greasy hair!

What is THIS? What is wrong with PBS? This show is made by the same sadistic people who make Teletubbies. Seriously, are these people on drugs? I only say that because these shows remind me of an afterschool special about dropping acid. I couldn't stop watching today, it was so horrible. Daphne didn't seem interested, so I have hope for her.

Note to the reader: If you don't click on the peach colored links you won't understand what I am talking about. Click on stuff in the boobah zone and you will see and hear. It's scary.

We took Daphne to the pediatric strabismus clinic this morning. It seems that I have indeed passed on my eye problems to her. We are going to have to patch her left eye every single day for the next month. I am sure that is going to be fun for all of us. I hope that Daphne handles it ok because if she keeps trying to rip off the patch we are going to have to get arm restraints. Can you imagine us doing that? We don't even let her cry for a few minutes. We are the most indulgent parents who ever lived. How could we restrain her? I am going to have to watch her very close and keep her hands busy with cheerios or something.

I didn't like the eye doctor. He was an ass, you know as in a donkey. I am really trying to keep this blog family friendly so I won't tell you what I really think about him. All I can tell you is that he had Daphne in complete hysteria and wouldn't let me stop and comfort her during his examination. He then yelled at his assistant and was a complete jerk to us. Anyway, we are going to try the patch and if that doesn't help or make things better we are going to have to try glasses or (shudder) surgery.

We also stopped by a daycare after the eye doctor to check it out. We are on the waiting list, but so are people who have been on it for two years. Apparently there are more children than available daycare space here in Iowa City. Great! Now we have to figure out if we have time to find a place for her in a safe, good daycare before I start work next August. I guess we need to figure out a plan for me to stay at home another year if we can't find a place for her to go. Maybe I need to have a blogathon where I ask people to donate money to my "Keeping Daphne out of Daycare" cause.

Today Daphne wore her eye patch for three hours. We put it on her before she woke up. I think this helped because she didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, the only bad thing about it was taking it off. She didn't want my hands anywhere near her eyes and screamed like she was being murdered when I ripped it off her face. I am not looking forward to doing that 27 more times. It could be worse. I hope it goes as well on Thursday.

Daphne and I made good use of my old text books today. We made a ramp out of them and sent her new red truck down the slide, all the way down the hall, and into her bedroom. She giggled and laughed while I did this over and over again. I hope this means she has forgiven me for the eye patch moment.

This is a picture of my little one with her eye patch. Isn't she sad? Doesn't she look pathetic? Doesn't it just break your heart?

Jack is teaching me how to put photos up on my blog. This is no easy task since I hate to learn new things, especially new computer things.

So, we have so many things to do before August. I have to find a job, we have to find a daycare, and we have to find a bigger place to live. All difficult things that have a lot to do with each other. We want a daycare that is close to where Jack works since he will be dropping her off in the morning. I hope I can find a job that is less than 30 minutes away. I don't want to be on the road for an hour each day. We are going on a daycare tour next week. It is a place where they have one opening for a baby in August. I hope we like it because it would solve one problem and help us focus on my job and a new home.

Daphne is still doing great with the patch. She hates having me take it off, but otherwise doesn't even seem to notice that it is there. I wish there was a better way to take it off, but she fights me so I have to rip it off as quickly as I can. I haven't noticed her eye becoming unfocused since we started the patch yesterday, maybe it is working.

I think that it is possible that Daphne and I are spending too much time alone together. Is that wrong to say? I love her very very much and think that she is the jam on my toast, but too much of a good thing is still too much. I think everyone needs a little personal time when they aren't being asked to take care of anyone or anything. Right now the only time I seem to get to myself is going to the grocery store. I don't think Jack has it much better. He walks through the door and immediatly has to pay attention to Daphne or help me get dinner started. He must treasure the time he spends alone in his car on the way to and from work. I would.

It doesn't help that Daphne is getting better at getting what she wants. More and more she is winning the battles and the war. If she wants something and we aren't getting it for her within a few seconds she has this whine that starts out really slow like she is revving up an engine. She then lets out a long and loud scream that continues punishing us until she gets what she wants. Sometimes if she is particullarly displeased she will continue whining even after she gets what she wants. My theory is that she must continue punishing us so we won't make the mistake of making her wait next time. These are the top five things that Daphne wants all of the time:

1. A bottle full of formula
2. A handful of Cheerios
3. The TV playing some annoying children's DVD
4. One of us holding her
5. But also being able to roam around the floor picking up pieces of cheerios she has dropped from her high chair or pieces of carpet (it makes no difference)

The first rule of baby fight club is Do Not Talk About Baby Fight Club!

Seriously, Daphne looks like she has been in a certain movie starring Brad Pitt and Ed Norton. Her face has two bruises on it. One is on her left cheek and the other is on her forhead. She cut her lip (with her razor sharp nails) and has a scab above her eyebrow from the same source. When she wears her patch she looks like Kurt Russell from Escape from New York.

Proof of her new status as a bada** baby she just head-butted her Daddy causing him to bite his lip. She is one tough lady!

I have been asked on several occasions whether or not Jack and I get opportunities to be alone together (like going to movies, plays, dinner, etc.). If you read my blog on a regular basis you know what the answer is (almost never). It is interesting because most of the time I don't really think about it. I do have occasions when I would like to spend some time alone (without Jack or Daphne). We really only complain about not getting to see movies. I don't even mind taking Daphne out to eat with us. I guess I feel like Jack and I have been married for a long time and we have been alone together a lot! It's nice to have Daphne around and it's nice to spend time together as a family.

Jack and I were talking about this very subject today. Neither one of us has a close friend (except my relationship with Mauria) anymore. Everyone we know is long gone. We don't even have many friends back in Utah because they have scattered throughout the country (that's what you get for having so many friends who choose theatre careers). I am always amazed when I find out that someone has kept up with a friendship from High School. My younger brother has that. He has a group of friends that he has hung out with for more than a decade.

This lack of friendship can cause a strain on any relationship. It is especially hard because I am home alone with the baby all day. By the time he comes home from work I am starved for attention. It's not that we fight or don't get along or anything. It is the opposite actually. We know each other so well and get along so well that we don't really stimulate each other. Sometimes it's nice to have a conversation with someone who can't finish your thoughts. So, we are very codependent and almost hermit-like.

It's hard to keep up relationships. People choose different lives, make mistakes that cost them friendships, and move so far away that it is impossible to keep in touch. I had one friendship that lasted for several years. We e-mailed each other every day for about three years. We even lasted through the year she lived in Amsterdam. We lost touch a few years ago. I can't find her now. I don't even know where she lives. I have tried to google search for her, but no such luck. Maybe one day she will stumble across my weblog and be amazed and possibly frightened that I have a baby. Google is a wonderful thing. My friend Jen from high school (hi Jenny!) found me through Google and I couldn't be more pleased because she has a baby just two months younger than mine. Now I have someone I can talk to about motherhood.

It's weird to think about people growing up and having normal lives. Especially people I knew in college and high school. I certainly am not the person I was when I was in my teens or in my twenties. I was a terrible person for many years. I was a very selfish and scary adolescent and lets face it pretty awful through most of my twenties. I don't think I became a "normal person" until I met Jack. I am sure that many of my high school and college friends would be horrified to think of me as a parent as I would of them (Not You Jen!). But, people change. Even the craziest people (and I was a theatre nerd, so I knew the crazy people) are probably living boringly normal lives right now.

So, that's what I have been thinking about. I should probably go to bed now before this becomes the Great American Novel. Good Night!

Daphne is getting so much better at standing without holding onto anything. She and Jack practice standing almost every evening. She thinks it is the funnest game ever. She also likes to bounce up and down on my lap. This is fun for her but hard on my weak arm muscles. I keep thinking she is going to stand up and walk any minute now. Not that I am excited to have her running around into things. It's bad enough she looks like she has been kung fo fighting, she doesn't need anymore bruises on her little face.

She also is speaking the strangest language. She whispers odd little sounds to herself. She also appears to be reading books outloud. She sits in her playpen and turns the pages while talking in a sing-song voice. It is a very bizarre sight. I wonder sometimes if she is vocalizing what she hears. For example, when she screaches at the top of her lungs is she imitating me? Is that what I sound like to her?

Daphne is also quite the singer/dancer. She makes an ah ah ah sound that goes up and down like a little song. She also claps along to songs on Sesame Street while bouncing up and down in time to the music. She has great rhythm and can move with the beat of the music. I swear I even thought for a minute that she might be some kind of muscial prodigy. Then I slapped myself back into reality and took a moment to mock of myself for even letting anything that absurd and pleasantly deluded cross my mind.

Boy, I have had some long posts lately. Is this a sign of my isolation from the world? It needs to warm up here so I can get out more. The weather today is cold and windy. That is my favorite combination. Just cold weather isn't enough for me. I need it to be blowing 20 or so miles an hour so I can feel tough when I go outside to get the mail. Sometimes I go out without a coat on just to prove to myself that I inherited some pioneer spirit (joke for Utah-folk only).

I am currently planning two trips. It makes me feel better knowing that we will be getting out of here this spring. We are going to Minnesota sometime in March and then a long drive to Salt Lake City sometime later in the spring. I am a terrible person to travel with. I don't know how Jack tolerates it. I think he tolerates it because he would like me to plan all of our vacations without his involvement. I warned him that leaving it in my hands was a dangerous thing. He may find himself visiting museums of medical oddities and homes of long dead writers .

I like to plan trips, but I don't like to travel. He hates to plan trips, but likes to travel. Anyway, he doesn't like to know the details of our trips. I on the other hand have been know to have intineraries that make note of where we will be every hour. Scary, eh? Too bad I can't find a career that would match my love of planning. You want to know how scary it is? Here is an example: I know where every Perkins is along I80. Believe me, you don't EVER want to travel with me.

I am kind of in a bad mood today. I think it is because Daphne was up all night with severe gas. How do I know this? Well, I won't go into detail, but she was making a lot of music last night (if you know what I mean) and it must have been painful because she woke up crying every few hours. I am not sure what we gave her yesterday that made her have such problems, but I think she is going to eat nice bland food today.

Here is a list of things that are pissing me off (sorry, bad language):

1. Republicans
2. Democrats
3. People who value work over spending time with their family
4. The ARC of Johnson County (they are soooo rude!)
5. TV scaring the crap out of me (CNN, FOX, American Idol)
6. TV telling me how to feel
7. TV telling me what to wear
8. TV telling me that my teeth aren't white enough so I should climb into a hole never to be seen or heard from again

I am also in a bad mood because I have to go visit a daycare center today and I really don't want to put Daphne in daycare. I hope it is really nice and really clean and that all of the children are really happy.

I knew a guy (a friend of a friend) who used talk about how psychiatric help should be provided for free to all U.S. citizens. I think if we all turned off our televisions (me especially) we would be much happier and care a lot less about things that aren't important. Then we wouldn't need to see therapists. And maybe we wouldn't get into such debt driving certain cars and wearing certain clothes.

If we got all of our news information from newspapers (and actually had to think instead of just letting someone tell us how to think (ditto!) then maybe people would make better choices (especially about who our leaders should be).

I think that babies should be the only citizens allowed to vote for president. Then we could have a Mr. Rogers (if he were still alive) and Big Bird ticket. That sounds about right to me. Captain Feathersword could be Secretary of Defense and Magic Buttons!

We just got back from our daycare tour. We actually liked it (for daycare). I mean, nobody really likes a daycare. This one was nice. There was lots of room for kids to play both inside and outside. All of the kids looked clean and happy. The ratio of adults to kids is good. The facility looked really organized. I liked the woman who runs the place. She seemed nice and hippie-like. So, I think we are going to sign up. After much discussion we decided the only thing we don't like about it (besides it being a daycare) is the location. It is about 15 minutes out of our way, but if that is the worst thing about it (besides it being a daycare) then I think that is pretty good.

So, now I just have to find a job! Sigh.

Yes, Daphne is a bottleaholic. I wish there was a baby bottleaholic hotline to call. She LOVES her bottle. According to her pediatrician we should wean her from the bottle before she is a year old. I guess they get more and more attached to it. I have read that they start getting attached to specific toys at this age, but I haven't seen her prefer one toy over the other. She changes what she wants to play with on a daily basis. For awhile she was really attached to her toy turtle, but now she seems really attached to a plastic measuring cup she is playing with. I don't remember having an attachement to a specific animal growing up. Maybe I did and I don't remember. My older brother Bryon was really attached to his Snoopy, but one day the head fell off and I guess the love affair was over.

The one upside to weaning her from the bottle is that I won't have to smell the awful formula anymore. Boy, that stuff smells really bad. I have tried every kind of formula available and it all smells that way. I can't imagine why she likes it so much. I have also tasted it on several occasions and I have to say that there is nothing in the world that tastes that bad. Well, there probably are a few things that taste worse (like sewage), but nothing that I would actually put in my mouth.

I have been having terrible insomnia lately. I will feel really tired and get ready for bed, but the by the time my head hits the pillow all of these thoughts and images rush into my head. It is a problem that I have always had. I think too much. Maybe if I vomit up some on my blog it will clear out my head.

So, I was listening to some NPR tonight. Specifically I was listening to This American Life. My favorite radio program in the world. Last week the program was about recordings people have made. Most of the program was good, but the last story called "The Greatest Voicemail Message of All Time" was worth the wait. It is the funniest thing I have ever heard on This American Life. It is so worth it to listen to on RealAudio. Seriously, it is hands down the funniest thing I have heard in a very long time.

So, now that I have talked about that I am going to write about what I was thinking about while trying to get some sleep. I was thinking about all of the vacations I have taken in my life and was trying to remember the best and worst of them. Maybe I was thinking about travel because I just made hotel reservations in Minneapolis (well, Bloomington actually, I was just being pretentious). So, here is a list of some of my most memorable vacations, good and bad.

THE GOOD:

1. San Diego (sometime in the early 90's)
I went to San Diego the summer after my freshman year of college (I actually didn't return to college until two years later, but that is a story I won't be sharing with Daphne). Anyway, I went to San Diego to visit some friends who had just moved there. I consider most of this trip to be good because it was a really low point in my life and I remember being able to just relax and have a good time. I also remember it fondly because instead of flying back my friend Matt and I decided to drive home while listening to the soundtrack to Les Miserables and to the Carpenters. It was a real bonding trip for us.

2. Yellowstone National Park (the summer after I graduated from high school)
This was a trip that I remember fondly. I don't remember the low points because it was almost 15 years ago. In fact, my friend Jen who I took the trip with probably remembers me being a huge pain in the rear. I do know that it rained most of the time so we didn't get a chance to hike. But, when we did finally get a chance I was so afraid of running into a bear that I made lots of noise by singing really loud. I remember being wonderfully dirty because we didn't take a shower for several days until we came across some pay showers that were so very very gross. I also remember being very excited by the bear proof garbage cans. We ate good outdoor food and generally had a good time. We also listened to the sound track to Beaches. Hmmm. I don't know if that part was so good.

3. California (1997)
Jack and I flew to California after we had been married for two years. We planned to do a lot of things while in California, but ended up spending most of our time at Disneyland. I remember being really excited because I had only been there once before. In fact, I think I was positively giddy the whole time. It was a great vacation from beginning to end. We even managed to visit the San Diego Zoo.

THE BAD:

1. Jackson Hole Wyoming (when I was a child)
My family took a horrible trip to Jackson Hole when I was in fourth or fifth grade. All I remember about it is staying in a hotel room and getting sick from eating too much junk food and having to stand in deep snow to have my picture taken.

2. Bear Lake (when I was eighteen or nineteen)
This was a trip that my friend Jen and I took. We stayed in a time-share in Bear Lake in the middle of winter. There wasn't anyone else around so it was a lot like the Shining. We couldn't even use the bathroom in the condo; we had to go outside to the pool showers in order to go to the bathroom. Very scary at night with the frozen lake and deserted landscape. I was sure we were going to be killed by some scary caretaker.

3. Salt Lake City (August 2002)
Jack and I went out to Utah for Jack's sister's wedding when I was five weeks pregnant. It was early in my pregnancy so I didn't think we would have any problems. But, two days into our trip the morning sickness hit. We couldn't do anything we had planned. I mostly sat in our hotel room while Jack ran around town looking for some type of food that I could keep down. It was the worst I have ever felt in my life. I was up vomiting all night and then had to hide the fact that I was sick from everyone. So, I ended up looking horrible for the wedding photos. We wanted to tell people so we could explain our dilemma, but we didn't want to take focus from Chrys's wedding. I have never been so happy to come home from a trip.

Well, I guess that is all for now. Thanks for indulging me. Congratulations to those of you who got to the end of this very long post.

Thanks to Aprille who always has the best links, I got to generate a map of every state I have visited. You can do this too. All you have to do is go to this site.

My title bar does the most annoying thing. It tries to guess what I am going to write based on the first and then second (and so on) letter I type in. For example if I want to type in the word insomnia as the title to this blog entry it thinks I am typing in the title of a blog entry called "Is This Normal". I find it so irritating that this program thinks it knows what I am thinking. Jack says this is something that most people like, which may in fact be true or it could be that he likes it therefore believes that it is what other people like.

So, I really think I have insomnia. I can't sleep. It's not so bad. Maybe I have insomnia because it is the only way that I can get some time to myself. I can finally watch what I want on TV without feeling guilty for not spending quality time with Daphne. I also get to watch what I want without having to come to some kind of compromise with Jack about what we are going to watch. He tends to want to watch boring nature shows while I want to watch Charmed . Of course if you were to quiz Jack on this semi-popular show about three sister witches, you would be surprised at how much he really knows about Piper, Phoebe, and Page.

Speaking of Jack, yesterday he called me a social darwinist! Me? A social darwinist? I have a Master's degree in Special Education for crap's sweet sake. Unfortunately I did say some things that may have come across that way, but I in no way implied that we should eat the poor (har har). I was explaining my new understanding of the meaning of life and anyway, I see now that I was wrong (and I don't admit mistakes very often). He set me straight and I can honestly say that I am on the right track (or left track as it may be). Too much watching of FOX News plus solitude can damage the brain.

Boy, my posts are getting really long. This is strange behavior for me. Usually I take the more is less approach to writing. I guess writing this blog late at night without the baby interrupting makes me ramble on and on. Or maybe it is my love of talking about myself to no one in particular.

Hope you understand.

Oh, I should say something about the baby since that is why most of you tune in. She is doing the most wonderful thing. When she stands on her own we say, "up, up, up". She has started to reply with, "bup, bup, bup". Cute, eh? I wouldn't mention it, but it has happened on more than one occasion. It is so exciting!

Ok, so I promise no more late night blogging! If I keep that up I will have to change the title of my weblog to "Holly's Page, Witness Her Unraveling".

We took Daphne out to the mall today. We bought her a new Koala Bear from the Build A Bear Workshop. We named him Kooka Mcnutry.

It has been so cold outside. Everytime we go anywhere we have to bundle Daphne up in her snow suit. She looks so cute in it. And I bet that it is snuggly and warm. I wish adults could wear big snow suits like this. I would probably venture out in the cold more often. It is supposed to snow tomorrow, I hope it is just a light dusting and not the large school closing type of storm everyone is predicting.

Daphne looking cute in her snowsuit!

I think that Daphne may have figured out the purpose of the remote. Twice today she got hold of it and made it turn the TV screen to snow. She then (both times) crawled over and put her nose up against the screen and starting giving it kisses. Has she really figured out how to use the remote? Or an even more important question is whether or not I should be proud of this accomplishent. Does remote control mastery deserve a place in her baby book? Hmmm. Possibly not her proudest moment.

I would be much more proud if she could figure out how to move her two trucks I bought across the floor. I thought I was being brilliant when I bought them because she moves everything (especially DVDs) across our carpet. But not the trucks, those she turns upside down and bangs on the floor or uses another toy to bang against them. My daughter is turning into such a rebel.

Dear Daphne:

I have some questions for you:

Why is it that you can sleep in the middle of a loud restaurant that is playing the latest pop hit at a volume so high that I can't think, but you wake up in the middle of the night if I so much as flush the toilet? Do your Cheerios really taste better off the floor? Does the floor have some special seasoning that you don't get from your high chair tray? Is it your monkey genes that make you need to forage around the floor for something to eat? Really, I WILL feed you; you don't need to be a hunter-gatherer. And why is it that you forget how to use your sippy cup and dump juice down your lap only when we are about to leave for the library? And seriously, what is the big problem with having your diaper changed? Am I murdering you? The same goes for anytime I try to put clothes on you. Would you rather freeze? On that subject, why do you only take one sock off and leave the other one on? You have a drawer full of non-matching socks because I have no idea where you leave the ONE sock you MUST take off! Another question I have is about your need to take every book I own off the bookshelf. I am trying to think of what career this may lead to. What kind of career aptitude test is going to assess whether or not you like to take DVDs off the shelf? I could understand if you liked to put books and DVDs away. In fact, this would be a great character trait, but taking books off the shelf is just really messy. And finally, why are you afraid of giraffes? Why do you scream your head off when the giraffe from your world animal video comes on? I wish I knew, because personally I find the tigers that come on right after the giraffes far more frightening, but what do I know?

My dear, sweet, and strange girl. I know you can't answer these questions yet, but I am still dying to know.

Love,

Mommy

Here is some news from the homefront:

1. It snowed twice this week. I hate snow. I can't think of anything nice to say about snow, except when it melts. Well, not even that because snow melting plus cold weather equals ice. I hate snow!

2. Daphne is offically enrolled for daycare. She will start the second week of August. I think it is a nice place. The focus is on play and creative learning. After thinking about it for awhile I realized that she will only be in daycare for 180 days out of the year. So, that isn't too bad. She will probably like it. They get to paint and play and they have an open door policy for parents so we can visit her anytime we like (Jack can even have lunch with her).

3. Daphne has two new teeth. Now she has a grand total of six teeth. She has four on the top and two on the bottom. It is so cute. Now if she would only grow hair!

4. Last night we played with her stuffed animal puppy. We would say "DOG" over and over again. Finally, Jack said, "this is a ...." and Daphne said, ""dock". She did it several times. Each time she said, "dock" we jumped up and down in celebration. She is most certainly starting to imitate us, so I guess I will offically have to stop cussing like a sailor!

Just moments ago Daphne stood up without holding on to anyone or anything. To prove that she had mastered the skill she did it three more times. She stood like that for a long time and then slowly lowered herself down. She didn't fall and bruise her face or get a big goose egg on her head. I could cry with joy!

In other "big girl" news she is experimenting more and more with people food. Today she ate some crackers (unsalted tops of course) with melted cheese and for dinner she experimented with actual carrots (very soft and mushy) and actual green beans. Up until now she would only eat her veggies if they came in a little Gerber jar. Oh, and I almost forgot about Jack giving her actual banana (which she hated). I could tell that she hated it because she put her bottom lip over her top lip and lifted her eyebrow while squinting one eye (we call it her Popeye face). Jack finally gave in and mixed it with Gerber banana and she ate it without complaint. It won't be long before she is eating everything that we eat. Or should I say that she will eat everything Jack eats because I think CHEESE is for FOOLS! When will you people realize that cheese is milk gone bad?

Who would have thought that 25 degrees would feel so good? It feels like Spring compared to last week's weather. And the snow is melting! It doesn't take much to lift my spirits in the middle of winter.

Yesterday we went to the mall and the library. We bought Jack some new shoes. You wouldn't notice his new shoes because they are the exact same shoes he had before. The same old DM's. The same color and style.

Daphne has been getting into all sorts of mischief. She is getting into everything. I can't keep up with her. Anything that is in her way must be destroyed, licked, or eaten. She even crawled under her playpen and got stuck. I am not sure why she decided to go under it instead of around it, but I guess I will have to add that to my list of strange things that Daphne does.

While I try not to let Daphne watch too much TV, we do spend some time watching her favorite shows. Today I am going to list the best and worst of daytime children's television.

THE BEST

MR. ROGERS

This is the best children's show that has ever been on television. Mr. Rogers was the kindest and most gentle person I ever knew. And I did feel like I knew him when I was a child. I still love watching his show and I hope it never goes off the air because there will never be another show like his.

JO JO'S CIRCUS

This is a new Disney show that uses claymation characters to teach kids about friendship, sportsmanship, honesty, and a variety of other moral lessons. Daphne loves it because the characters sing and dance.

THE WIGGLES

I know that many of you feel that the Wiggles are annoying. BUT, I believe in the landscape that is televison they don't suck as bad as many other programs. And Daphne loves them, so how can I deny her a little happiness every morning at 11:30?

SESAME STREET

This is still a good show, but it was MUCH better when I was a little girl. Although, I was seriously stressed out that Big Bird was the only one who knew about Snuffy and everyone thought he didn't exist even though I knew he existed. That was a bad storyline. It was a huge relief for me when everyone became friends with Snuffy.

Daphne likes Sesame Street, but only when they sing, she gets bored when they talk too much.

LITTLE BILL

Daphne is too young for this show, but someday she will like it as much as I do.

THE WORST

BARNEY

I know, everyone hates this show. It is the worst of the worst. What is wrong with the kids on this show?

TELETUBBIES

What is wrong with the people who created this show? This is why you don't want your children to grow up and do drugs because they may create horrible TV shows like this one. I don't know if Daphne likes this or not because we don't watch it.

BLUE'S CLUES

OK, so this used to be a really good show. I loved it when Steve was the host, but now they have the new guy and I don't trust him. And now Blue Talks! What the hey diddle diddle? Blue shouldn't talk, that just ruins the whole show for me.

This is how a typical conversation with Daphne goes:

Me: Daphne!

Daphne: (doesn't look up)

Me: Daphne!

Daphne: (looks up)

Me: Mama, say Mama.

Daphne: Dad!

Me: Mama!

Daphne: Dad (giggles)

Me: Say, Mama!

Daphne: Dad da da da da

Me: Mama! Who am I? (pause) Mama!

Daphne: Dad da dad bip bip bbbbb (sprays me with spit)

Me: Mama!

Daphne: (laughs and laughs)

Me: (laugh)

So, there you go. She will repeat dog and up after we say it but she won't say Mama unless she is upset or hungry. Oh, well.

I am really starting to like Daphne. This sounds strange I know. But, understand that I loved Daphne the minute she was born. In fact the second that I first saw her I felt a great big swoosh of emotion that brought me to tears. There is nothing like that feeling and I am so glad that Jack and I decided to breed.

But, now I am really starting to like her. Daphne is so funny. She is going to be a real clown when she goes to school. She will do anything to get you to laugh and if you laugh once she will do it again and again. She is so much fun to play with and listen to music with, and just hang around. Today we played hide and go seek.

That isn't exactly what we played. It went sort of like this:

I would crawl into her bedroom with her chasing me. I would hide behind a chair or in the closet (but in a way that she could see me). I said, "where's mommy" and she would crawl toward me. When she got right up next to me I would say, "BOO!' She thought this was hysterical and wanted me to do it again and again.

I love being able to play with her (even though I miss my squishy little newborn). I am really going to miss this time next year. Sigh!

I've just about given up trying to keep everything around me clean (including the baby). It is a disaster here. Well, it isn't THAT bad. It's not as dirty as say the floor of the Hamburg Inn (which happens to have great food). But, things are a bit messy and I can't keep up with Miss Destroyer of My Universe. If she isn't pulling everything off the books shelves or dragging her bottles to who knows where then she is trying to "help me" put away laundry by dumping all the clean clothes out of the laundry basket. Speaking of laundry. She is such a little person, but I know that I do at least three times more laundry since her birth. Right now she is currently ripping my copy of Entertainment Weekly to shreds. Thanks Daphne!

We also have three times as much stuff as we had before. There are toys in every corner of every room. I took the batteries out of all her toys that make noise because I am tired of stepping on them in the middle of the night. It is very hard to get back to sleep when you have "Row Row Row Your Boat" going through your head because you accidentally stepped on her toy octopus.

I love her dearly, but sometimes I wish I could keep her in her playpen for several hours. I know, I know this is cruel and I swear she never spends more than 20 minutes in there. Besides, she likes it because right now that is where I keep most of her toys. One day soon she won't be willing to spend one minute in her playpen and then I won't be able to get anything done. Especially the vacuuming.

I know I posted once today already, but I can't help myself. I just read an article in my Parenting Magazine (it came this morning). There is an article about more and more women opting for c-sections when they aren't medically necessary. If there is one thing I would like to tell ALL women who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant is that c-sections should not be considered unless absolutely necessary!

Why do people think that having major abdominal surgery is better than labor? I wish I could have had Daphne the normal natural way. I would trade a few hours of intense labor pain for the painful and very disgusting recovery of a c-section (ask Jack about packing my wound with gauze for 3 months). Anyone who is thinking that a c-section is easier and less painful should talk to me.

The most frustrating thing was having to stay in the hospital for the extra two days. Aaargh! I get so upset when I read articles that suggest that a c-section should be an option for women who don't want to go through labor!

Daphne turned 10 months old yesterday. Can you believe it? I got a reminder in the mail today. The hospital for her delivery bill came today, Finally! It has taken them 10 months to figure out how much I owe, but they expect me to pay it in 10 days. That takes a lot of nerve! It's a good thing we have money in savings!

Guess how much it cost to bring Daphne into the world? Eighteen thousand dollars! Yes, that is how much it cost. Still want to have that c-section? Of course we don't have to pay that much! The insurance company takes care of the majority of the cost, thank goodness.

Daphne has valentine pictures up on her page. Hope you all had a great Valentine's Day. Jack and I are making sugar cookies with Eliana tonight.

Every morning Daphne wakes up with a fire in her belly. She NEEDS to attempt dangerous stunts like trying to get off the couch, standing up on her own, and many other "daredevil" activities. And even though she often falls on her face, she still tries again. Don't we all wish we had that kind of tenacity?

Today Jack gave her some raw celery. This is her first attempt at eating a raw vegetable. She happily popped it into her mouth and then proceeded to chew and chew and chew. It was like a never-ending jawbreaker. She let it sit on her tongue for awhile waiting for it to dissolve like a cheerio, but it didn't. She then tried to pull it out of her mouth, but lacks the dexterity necessary to do such a thing. Finally, she managed to swallow it and then refused to eat anything else except some very liquidy fruit.

Oh, and our little one has a grand total of EIGHT teeth now! No hair, but a mouthful of teeth. She is looking more and more like Kojack.

I am having one of those mornings where it is almost lunch time and I haven't eaten breakfast or taken a shower. It is one of those mornings where I give Daphne a sippy cup full of juice only put the wrong lid on it so juice gets dumped down her shirt and to make matters worse she didn't have a bib on because they are all in the pile of dirty laundry I have to do today. Right now she is watching the most annoying Sesame Street video. Sometimes I want to reach into the TV and wring Elmo's neck. Is it just me or is he really annoying? I don't know why he is so popular. I probably wouldn't find him so annoying if he didn't get so much air time. I think they should just be honest and start callng the show Elmo's Street. Daphne and I occasionally watch Sesame Street and I can't help wondering what happened to Oscar the Grouch and Grover. Did they go the way of Mr. Hooper?

Speaking of TV (and I always do). I am seriously mourning my favorite guilty pleasure going the way of Mr. Hooper. Next week is the final episode of "Sex and the City". I am so depressed. Right now it is the only reason I have HBO. I just hope that Carrie comes back to New York and I really hope that she doesn't end up with Mr. Big. I will be very disappointed in her if she ends up with Mr. Big.

Speaking of depressing things, I ate way too many sugar cookies this weekend. A really disturbing amount of sugar cookies. Jack will try to argue with me, but I am pretty sure I ate more of the cookies than he did (which would be a first). I am having a serious valentine sugar cookie hangover. I feel like my insides are covered in a layer of lard based frosting. Mmmmm.

We have the dreaded eye appointment this afternoon. I am more stressed about the horrid eye doctor than about anything else. If you recall from an earlier blog he had her in complete hysteria and wouldn't let me comfort her. I wish I could conjure up my eight year old self and tell him to "stick it in his pie hole."

The good news is that I get to tell him that her eye seems to be improving. Jack and I haven't seen it moving up into the right corner for more that two weeks. There have been two instances when the right eye stopped moving while the other eye kept tracking, but it only happened for a split second. So, I hope he just says that we need to keep patching. You know, I can always get a second opinion.

Daphne and Jack went to the "John Deere Play Area" at the Coralridge Mall yesterday. She had so much fun! She really loves being around a lot of kids who are running around screaming their heads off. In fact, she spent many moments screaming her head off. They were there for almost an hour and I think she could have stayed for another hour. I think she really likes being around kids. The lack of things for children to do is my biggest complaint about living in Iowa City. Sure there are lots of things for toddlers to do. The public library and the rec center have programs for two year olds on up, but I haven't seen anything for infants.

We do have a lot of nice parks here! I can't wait until the weather is warm enough so I can take Daphne out for a walk.

Note to Jack:
Hey I put this picture up by myself! Aren't you so proud?

Daphne's eye appointment went really well. According to Dr. Dick her eye is improving. We are going to continue patching for the next six weeks. I am glad that it is working. It gives me hope.

Sometimes when I am out in public with Daphne I wonder if people think that I have stolen her. We don't look like we belong together. She is so cute, clean, and fresh looking and I am well, what is the opposite of fresh looking? Withered? Petrified? No, I never was tan enough to turn into something petrified. I just looked used up. In fact the other day I looked in the mirror and thought who is that old person? When did I get so old?

These days you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me and someone who just spent several days on a Greyhound Bus. I swear I don't even brush my hair anymore. I just put it back in an elastic and go, go, go. You want to know something sad? I haven't had my hair cut since last March. I felt better when my dentist told me that after her first child she didn't get her hair cut for a year either. I love my dentist.

Oh, and tonight when I was at Wal-mart I told the cashier I didn't need a bag. Only not the bag that rhymes with tag, but bayg . What am I from Wisconsin now? I am truly becoming a Midwesterner. If you ever hear me say I have to warsh the car rather than wash the car please step on my foot.

Jack and I were listening to NPR the other day and a story came on about a guy who had interviewed people about superpowers. He asked the question, "Would you rather have the ability to fly or the ability to become invisible?"

Jack and I got into a discussion about this. He would like to be able to fly. He said that flying would be fun and a fast way to get around. I said that I would like to become invisible. This isn't because I would like to rob a bank or see people naked or anything immoral like that. Although, it would be tempting to get on an airplane. I would like to be invisible for many reasons. One it would be interesting to listen to stranger's conversations at restaurants or the mall. Also, aren't there times when you would like to be invisible? Maybe I would like to go take a walk in the park or in the mall without having to worry about getting ready to go. I could just go in my pajamas without any make-up.

Hmmm. Would you rather be able to fly or become invisible?

I know that I talk about TV a lot! But, I just want you all to know that on Monday and Tuesday I didn't watch any TV at all. Well, except 1 hour on Tuesday night. I have been so busy that I haven't had time to watch anything.

That being said, I have a new favorite show. Actually I have two new favorite shows. One is called For Better or For Worse. It is on TLC home of Trading Spaces and A Wedding Story. The show takes over a couples wedding planning. The couple doesn't get to be any part of the planning, not even picking out the dress! A group of friends and family join with a wedding planner to plan a wedding in just one week with 5,000. The best part is seeing the Mother of the Bride clash with the wedding planner.

My other new addiction is watching C-Span. I love watching reporters argue with the SLEAZY white house press secretary. It is fun to watch him squirm while the reporters get more and more angry because he won't answer their questions. It is our political system at its best or worst.

Hey Girls, what do you think of this Game. Not that I approve of such a violent game.

Here is a little bit of interesting information about Daphne. She loves it when I sing The Gambler.

Do you remember how I returned to Hy-vee to pay for items they forgot to charge me for? Well, tonight for the second time in a row Hy-vee screwed me. The last two times I have gone shopping I have gotten the most lackadaisical cashier. I have been overcharged and coupons have gone unscanned out of pure laziness. Aargh! See, see! What did I tell you? My "glass is half empty attitude" is correct. I think that you could easily look through history and in your own personal lives and see that the most ruthless and selfish of us are the ones who have the most success. If only I were a religious person I could be comforted by the fact that people who are dishonest will some day meet their maker. Unfortunately I don't believe in a maker, so there you go. But what I have seen of religion on TBN, good works doesn't get you into heaven, only acceptance of Jesus. So, what's a person to do?

If I were to pick a religion I would be a Buddhist. But, I think that it is pretentious for people from western cultures to say that they are Buddhist. Besides, I took a course in Buddhism when I was an undergrad and got told by my Professor that I "swim through a sea of relativity". I think this is some kind of Koan. I do like the basic philosophy of Buddism. The idea that ending desire will end suffering really appeals to me. I also remember the instructor saying that, "western religion is about a divine being and easten religion is about the divine state of being". Yes, I recognize that this is an oversimplification, but it is still an interesting way of looking at it.

Speaking of religion I really wish Mel hadn't made that movie. Yucko!

A HAPPY BUDDHA!

So, last night Jack was trying to get Daphne to go to sleep when she started yelling out, "Mama, Mama!" He handed her over and she cuddled up into me and fell asleep (while I tickled her back). Nice, eh? It was the most thrilling moment of my week. I think she is starting to understand that I am Mommy and Jack is Daddy. Sometimes she still says "dada" while looking at me and "mama" when Jack is feeding her, but I would say that at least 80% of the time she calls us by the correct name. Thrilling!

What else? Daphne ate some of my fortune cookie last night. She thought it was yummy! She is certainly showing a preference for some foods. She really likes yogurt. This is probably because it is easy to eat. She is growing very impatient with us and our attempt to get her to eat non-mashed food. She will eat non-pureed peas and pasta, but don't even try to give her broccoli in any form.

We are having a hard time getting her to use a spoon. I should note that we are not trying very hard. Jack is much better at getting her to try new things and I think that teaching her to eat with a spoon is going to be his job. Daphne is a pro at eating with her fingers, but hates, hates, hates it when I try to get her to hold a spoon. I think we are going to wait until she shows some interested in using a spoon before we force the issue. Although I did read an article about a woman who spoon-fed her child until he was four. I don't think we will wait that long.

My favorite, favorite TV show ended last night. I am going to miss watching "Sex and the City" every Sunday night. I hope Sarah Jessica Parker holds to her promise of occasionally "revisiting" the series. Last night while watching this wonderfully executed program I started to think about all the sex on TV. Yes, my favorite show discusses topics I would be uncomfortable bringing up with my Mother and it is doubtful I would let Daphne watch any show or movie that contained such adult themes.

It bothers me that everyone thinks that children are becoming scarred because of too much sex on TV. Yes, "Sex and the City" is a bit much and I for one don't want the preteens I work with to get any ideas from sitcoms like "Friends". But, why is it that we don't mind too much violence? I know, I have heard people complain about violence in rap music, video games, and some movies and TV shows. My complaint is that there are many movies and TV shows that are not appropriate for children and I would argue are a lot more damaging to young minds than Janet Jackson's breast (there I said it).

1. American Idol

Aaargh this show! While I have been known to watch it, I always cringe whenever these poor kids are verbally beaten up on in public. Sure, it seems harmless, but what are we teaching kids? Are we teaching kids it is OK to make fun of other people? I know that it is all in fun, but when did it become OK to publicly ridicule people?

2. The Passion of the Christ

I am so disgusted by this movie. It has nothing to do with whether or not I am a religious person. It is too damn violent! The same people who complain about Janet Jackson are taking their young children to a movie where someone gets beaten, tortured, and nailed to a cross. Why is this OK? I am horrified when I see commercials on TV for this movie. See it if you want, but think about what this kind of violence will do to your children! I remember being very young the first time I heard about Nazis and I thought they were going to come after me. I remember being quite hysterical about it. I can't imagine what a movie like this would do to me, even as an adult (I didn't make it through Shindler's List).

3. The Lord of the Rings

I LOVED these movies, but had a very hard time sitting next to 7 and 8 year- olds. Why would you bring young a child to see such a violent movie? There were several times during these movies that I had to cover my eyes. I would look over at the children sitting next to me and they would be staring straight ahead without even wincing.

AND when did it become OK to call someone retarded? I used to write kids up for saying this. Now it is on TV all the time.

So, that is my diatribe. Even though I know that few people will agree with me, I still had to say it.

So, I am starting the process of looking for employment. The first step is getting my educational placement file organized. Job seeking is a huge pain, as you all know. There are some openings right now and a job fair in March. I am going to have to go shopping sometime soon because I do not have a single thing to wear to a job interview. I also have to get my "portfolio" ready and get my transcripts sent. Bleah! I wish I could be a stay-at-home Mom forever. Even though I complain about being bored, I would still rather hang around with Daphne than do anything else.

Daphne is on some kind of hunger strike. She hardly eats anything at all right now. She doesn't want to be spoon fed, but can't feed herself with a spoon. She eats a lot of cheerios. Can a person sustain themselves on a diet of cheerios, veggie puffs, and peas? Everything I have read suggests that infants/toddlers go through a lot of different eating phases and not to worry. Every one seems to be of the opinion that a self-feeding baby IS getting enough to eat. And I doubt anyone would look at Daphne and think that she was starving! : )

Oh, and don't expect any pictures anytime soon because she has a HUGE purple bruise on her cheek. It looks like she has a smudge of purple jam on it, but I promise it is just a bruise. She fell and smacked her head against our computer desk. If it didn't seem cruel I would go with my earlier plan to wrap her in bubble wrap.

I will take some photos as soon as it fades.

Oh, and I wish Jack would post something on his page because when you go to our front page and read the opening line from his blog it looks like we are getting divorced.

So, do you think public discussions of my daughters BMs will cause her to be a drunk in college. Is this what drives people to therapy? Well, I guess I will just have to take that risk.

Daphne hasn't pooped in days. She is constipated. She probably is on her hunger strike because she has a belly full of bowel. That is a real condition by the way. A belly full of bowel often requires surgery. We had to discuss this in one of my classes because it happens to people who are tube-fed. I even saw an x-ray of belly full of bowel. Yucko. But, I don't think that it is THAT serious for Daphne. The problem really is that I don't want to take her anywhere right now because sometime VERY soon she is going to let go of that bowel in a fast and furious way. I really don't want to be at Baby Gap, in the library, or in the car when it happens. So, we will just sit and wait.

Daphne's poop has become a normal topic of conversation around here. We often discuss it in detail. The best thing is when we stick our noses in the area around her bottom to see if she has a "poopy diaper". I promise you all that is something I NEVER thought I would do. And I think that is intimate. I can't imagine what kinds of horrors I will face down when we start potty training.

Don't you think that Belly Full of Bowel would be a great name for a punk rock group? Am I a big nerd for saying punk rock group?

I just got off the scale and I have lost 12 pounds since January 1st. That is more than a pound a week. I am not sure how I am doing it since I ate an entire bag of jelly beans the other day (OK, it took me two days). Isn't Easter candy the best? I think that it is better than Halloween candy. I am a jelly bean junkie. I am excited about giving Daphne an Easter Basket this year. Although, we aren't going to put any candy in it. I don't think an 11-month old needs sugar.

Speaking of Easter, it isn't my favorite holiday. I probably have too many traumatic memories of my brothers stealing all of the good candy out of my Easter basket. And, yes sometimes I stole candy out of theirs. It just depended on who woke up first. Being the only girl in a family of boys makes for a very Darwinian childhood.

Oh, if you see me on the street, please don't tell me I look like I have lost weight because I still look like I am three months pregnant. I still have 8 pounds to go and it is all in my belly.

Daphne has become the master of feminine manipulation. She goes to any extreme now to make herself as pathetic as possible. The result of this is that she is learning how to throw a tantrum. Too young to throw a tantrum you think. Well, she has figured out that we will come to her aid faster if she throws herself down on the floor and does the old "silent cry" routine. What is it about the silent cry that makes your stomach lurch? I can handle her screaming at the top of her lungs, but the silent cry makes me rush to her aid because it gives off the air of "all is lost" and "Mommy and Daddy just don't care." It works every time.

But, we love her dearly no matter how much of a drama queen she is becoming. My Grandmother informed me (or rather reminded me because I have never been allowed to forget) of what a "mean little brat" I was as a toddler because I had my own ideas about what I wanted to wear. Unfortunately for everyone this did not include frilly little dresses. There were moments ( many) in my childhood when I was held down by my four aunts and forced into a dress. So, I have told Jack that I don't care what she wants to wear I am never going to argue with her about clothes. Unless of course it isn't modest, clean, or weather appropriate. Therefore she will not be wearing a bikini in mid January. Otherwise if she wants to wear a pink tutu over a baseball uniform or mix and match stripes with polka dots it is fine with me.

I just hope I get used to the silent cry.

Here is Daphne looking cute! You wouldn't know it but she is about to pull all of the books off her bookshelf.

Hey, we don't usually play the lottery, but Jack and I picked the powerball number twice this week. That means we won $6. That is probably the only time we will win anything. I am going to buy myself something nice. Like a donut.

I hope we didn't use up all of our good luck for the year. I still need to find a job.

I went out and bought a suit today. Thank goodness my sister-in-law Mauria went with me because I do not have the faintest idea about buying suits (she works in the grown-up corporate world so knows about such things). It is black and very conservative and simple so I like it (for a suit). So, let the job interviews begin! But not before I get my hair cut. I am starting to look like a flower child with all of this long thick hair. But no short old lady haircut for me. I am not getting the weird teacher perm! EVER!

So, Jack and I are going to drive to Utah and I don't want to talk about it anymore. There is a moratorium on any discussion of flying. We need to be flexible about our trip because we don't know when I will be having job interviews and such. So, we are not flying. End of story. We do plan to come out in May, but exactly when we are leaving is still up in the air (but not in a plane).

I have been looking on the internet to find places for us to stop along the way. It is really difficult since Nebraska and Wyoming tie for "armpit of America." Actually Wyoming is a beautiful state, but not along I80. I figure that Nebraska has pretty parts, but I have not experienced it. I hear that Omaha has a good zoo. I think we will stop there on the way back.

Basically there is nothing to do along the way except in fun and fantastic Rawlings. Here is an example of what Rawlings has to offer.

The big "attraction" in Rawlings Wy is the Wyoming Frontier Prison . This is no longer a functioning prison, so you can take a tour through it. Fun for the whole family is an exhibit of confiscated inmate weapons or you can sit in an actual gas chamber. Another interesting thing about Rawlings is a museum that displays a pair of shoes made out of an inmates skin. Yucko! Also the Rawlings FAMILY recreation center is home to a shooting range. Not that I have anything against gun ranges, I just never thought of a shooting range as family fun. Jack and I are thinking of moving there. The Rawlings folk seem like our kind of people.

If anyone out there knows of great places to stop and look around along I80 please let me know. We figure we will have to stop every two hours for our dear sweet Daphne.

This is a must see on our trip:

Petrified Wood Gallery

So, I have decided to embrace my inner proletariat self. Now that I am unemployed and drowning in student loan debt and can't claim student status anymore, I may as well accept the truth. I have become poor white trash. Now Jack would argue that we make too much money and I have too much education to call my self a prole, but I disagree. Until society comes up with an appropriate label for the educated poor, I am going to accept who I have become. Here is the evidence:

1. I let my daughter eat cheerios off the floor.

2. I get my hair cut at Mastercuts (pay $35 for a trim? I don't think so)

3. I occasionally eat pancakes for dinner.

4. I do shop at Wal-mart (although I am starting to feel guilty about it)

Smells pretty prole to me!

I guess all I need now is a Budweiser sweatshirt and a pin that says "Don't Mess with Texas" or "God Bless the U.S.A" and I will be set.

I feel pretty good about it. Read Paul Fussell's book Class. He makes the middle class sound like a lot of work. Bleah, you can have it! I don't want to have to worry that much about outward appearance.

Here is my favorite quote:

The white cr##### who wrote the national anthem knew what he was doing - he set the word "free" so high, nobody could reach it.

-Belize, Angels in America

My New favorite song is James Taylor's "Jelly Man Kelly". It's not a new song, but one that is a great children's classic. I checked a Sesame Street CD out of the library and it is currently on our most played list. If you don't know the song it is about Jelly Man Kelly who loves jelly and Jenny Mulhenny who loves to boil water. It is just James, a guitar, a bunch of kids, and a TUBA! The other thing that makes the song great is the group of kids who sing the chorus. The chorus is just the kids screaming "Oh, can he come home Jenny? Can he come home?" It is nice to hear "real" kids voices on a CD. I can't stand the over processed children's music today. Children's music SHOULDN'T sound perfect. I like the screaming kids!

My other favorite CD (for Daphne) is by Justin Roberts . Even Jack likes listening to this music. My favorite is a song about a kid waiting for his Yellow Bus. It makes Daphne bounce up and down and squeal in delight.

Speaking of media. We watched "Lost in Translation" last night. Jack didn't like it. I thought it was OK, but I expected it to be better. You know it won an Oscar for screenwriting, but there wasn't a lot of dialogue. I do like Scarlet Johansson. She is in my favorite movie, "Ghost World". Actually my favorite movie is "Breakfast at Tiffany's". "Ghost World" is my favorite movie that reminds me of what I think I was like in High School. I know that no one is that cool when they are eighteen, but hey, they are my memories to reconstruct.

Daphne is sick. She is really sick. She hasn't been this sick ever in her life. She has the usual cold symptoms but also has a fever and a bad cough. Her breathing is very shallow and raspy. Poor thing. We are trying to make her as comfortable as possible. I have noticed that she is taking being sick a lot harder this time. Usually she goes about her business of destroying the world, but this time she just wants to cuddle. We haven't cuddled this much since she was four months old. I think that she is finally at an age that she notices something is different. Kind of sad if you think about it. The sudden realization that you are miserable for more than a few moments (like having a diaper changed). It makes her closer to being human and less like a big lump.

Here is a picture of Daphne at her sickest (temp of 100.9). She looks so puffy and miserable. This is a bed we concocted out of her old infant car seat and a million blankets. She really likes sleeping in this because her head stays elevated and she can breathe better.

I can't seem to make any decisions lately. It isn't like me at all. Like buying plane tickets. I couldn't make myself do it. I kept thinking that something could happen and we would be stuck with the tickets. Now, I can't make hotel reservations. I am going a little crazy. We need to make reservations soon because I don't want to get stuck staying in some gross hotel in the middle of nowhere.

What makes it harder is that Jack is less than enthused about making trip plans. It isn't that he doesn't try to be helpful, but I see the look on his face when I say, "we need to make some plans". It is the same look he gives me when I ask him to clean the toilet. I keep looking at the millions of miles we are going to travel and I am a little depressed. Aren't road trips supposed to be fun?

I think that the baby is making me feel a little nervous about the whole trip.

This is what I have planned so far:

MAY 5th

Iowa City to Des Moines

Des Moines to Omaha

Omaha to Kearney

Kearney to North Platte (stay in North Platte)

Just that leg of the trip is 8 1/2 hours driving.

MAY 6th

North Platte to Cheyenne (check out the Cowgirl museum)

Cheyenne to Laramie

Laramie to Rock Springs (stay in Rock Springs over night)

This day will take 7 1/2 hours of driving

MAY 7th

Drive to Ogden Utah

Doesn't that seem like a LONG drive? It is overwhelming. I am still trying to find interesting stops along the way. It isn't looking good since one of the better stops is THIS .

Daphne is feeling much better. She still has a nagging cough that keeps her up all night, but there is no fever and MUCH less rope snot. I on the other hand am about to check myself into a mental hospital. Lack of sleep is making me a little edgy.

We are getting ready for our trip to Minnesota next week. We even got Daphne her very own little purple suitcase. It is so cute. I think that the trip is either going to make me feel better or drive me right over the edge. I think that everyone I know in Utah should move to Minneapolis. It is a great city. I has a huge Mall, Sports , a good University , Art , and even Prince lives there. I would move there, but I can't stand snow. The best reason is that it is only a short 5 hours from here.

Daphne is in LOVE with her snot bulb. Do not try to take it away from her! She will scream and scream and scream until you give it back. At an age when she should be attaching herself to one of her stuffed animals or to a special blankie, she has chosen the path of stockholm syndrome. She loves the thing that causes her the most unhappiness and suffering. I actually tried the snot bulb on my own nose just to see how awful it is. I think that it has more to do with losing dignity than with being uncomfortable or painful. But, now she loves it and will accept no substitutes. I guess the upside is that the snot bulb is easy to clean.

Do a google search for SNOT BULB and you will see that I am the second rank result. HA! After this post I bet I am the first.

My faith in humanity has been restored (for the moment). Yesterday Daphne and I went to the mall. It was a very blustery day. The wind was so cold and horrible that I had to carry Daphne so she could put her face in my shoulder to keep her from freaking out. While I was walking to my car I almost lost control of the stroller. I was only able to hold it with one hand because I was carrying the baby. Anyway, I was struggling with it and this woman came up to me and asked if I needed help. She kindly pushed the stroller for me so I could hold on to my screaming child. It was one of those moments that happen all of the time when you have kids. Usually I don't get any help at all, even when I am struggling to get a door open or out of an elevator. I was very appreciative of this lady and it made me think that people aren't that bad after all.

So, next time you see someone struggling with a stroller go ahead and open the door or hold the elevator. The worst thing that is going to happen is that they will say, "no thank you."

Oh, I should mention that Daphne has started the walking process. She will take one or two steps independently. We celebrate it every time she does it! It won't be long before she is toddling around and getting into more and more things.

Time flies! Time flies by very fast! I am starting to freak out. Daphne is getting so old. This morning she was sleeping on her stomach with her bum in the air and I thought, "Oh, look at those long legs and that large head, she is a toddler." Wouldn't it be great if I had a picture of that? But, I don't.

She took four BIG steps today on her own before falling on her face. We have to prompt the walking by saying, "Walk Daphne Walk!" She doesn't seem interested in initiating it on her own. She is such a good crawler, I don't think that she wants to walk. Besides, it is probably very difficult and there is lots of time before I start being concerned about whether she walks or not (most children don't walk until after their first birthday).

Anyway, yesterday she turned 11 months old. Only one more month until her first birthday. How long before I start pining for another baby? JUST KIDDING JACK!

Beware the Ides of March or Happy Birthday Jack. I don't know how Jack feels about being born on the Ides of March. My guess is that he doesn't think about it at all. Daphne was born on Palm Sunday, but since we are not Catholic I don't know what that means. I am sure that it has something to do with the crucifixion, so I am not even going to Google it. The only thing special about my birthday is that Mount St. Helens erupted. Not exactly something to celebrate.

Anyway, it is Jack's birthday and every year that he gets closer to thirty makes me feel less like Demi Moore. But seriously, the age difference has never bothered me. And I rarely find anyone who even cares that I am older than Jack. Maybe a decade or two ago people would have cared, but now it is VERY common for women to date younger men. I know of at least four couples where the woman is older than the man. And I don't know that many people. Besides, I am not that much older than Jack, at least the age difference doesn't even come close to the people on Friday's Oprah. They all had 10 to 20 year age differences. Not that it matters to me. If you fall in love, you fall in love.

He will be 27 this year and you probably all know that John Denver was born in the summer of his 27th year. We celebrated with Bryon and Mauria yesterday and tonight we will go to dinner and have some cake. Yum. So, if you see Jack on the street go ahead and wish him a very happy birthday!

That was a freak snow storm yesterday. What a nice way for the kids to spend Spring Break. I had to take Eli home last night and I thought I was going to get in an accident. I was weaving back and forth along Melrose while pumping my breaks for dear life. I do not like snow. Especially the icy snow we get here. Although last night we had "Utah" snow. Big white snow flakes. Kind of pretty, but driving was very scary.

I am so glad that Jack and I decided to wait until May to drive to Utah. I would be freaking out right now about driving. I am guessing we would have cancelled since we were planning on leaving this week. I wonder if we will make it to Minneapolis. I don't think any trip is worth it if I am going to be stressed about the weather. I am going to be glued to the Weather Channel all week long.

Jack had a nice Birthday. We went out to eat, had some cake, and I gave him a spice rack (I swear that is what he wanted). It also goes well with the two Alton Brown books that Mauria and Bryon got him. I am glad that Jack has an interest in cooking since I can barely boil water.

Daphne is delving deeper into the world of people food. She still has an occasional jar of baby food, but for the most part eats what we eat. Last night we gave her some of our tomato soup(actually her dad's soup because I put lemon juice in my tomato soup, don't ask) and she LOVED it. She thought it was the best thing she had ever had until her Daddy put some plain yogurt into it and then she thought that was the best thing she had ever had.

She still eats Cheerios for breakfast and snacks. As a testament to her weirdness, she has developed an odd way of eating them. She takes the first Cheerio and throws it on the floor, the second Cheerio goes in her mouth, the third Cheerio on the floor, the fourth in her mouth, and so on. This is how she eats all of her finger food. I spend most of my morning down on the floor picking up little pieces of cast off food, so she won't pick them up and eat them later.

She still hasn't learned to use a spoon (but we aren't trying very hard). If I give her a spoon she just swings it in the air and let's food fly everywhere. I won't feel bad if she doesn't start feeding herself with a spoon until she is older. She is so good at shoveling things in her mouth with her hands, it hardly matters.

The bottle is the only thing that I am worried about. She can drink from a sippy cup, but prefers a bottle. I have gotten her down to only three bottles a day, but with her first birthday on the horizon I am getting nervous about weaning her from it. I am not sure if we should go cold turkey or gradually take it away. My biggest concern is that we usually give her a bottle of water sometime in the night to get her back to sleep. She is probably going to be in college before she gives the nighttime bottle up. I have a plan that I am hoping will work. When she turns one year old I can start giving her whole milk. My hope is that she will like milk in a sippy cup soooo much that she will forget about that dumb old bottle. I realize that it is a little like giving chocolate to a crack addict. But I can still hope.

So, today we are leaving for Minneapolis. Jack went in at 7:00 a.m. so he will be home a little early. I am packing, packing, and packing some more. When it was just me and Jack it only took a few minutes to throw some stuff in a suitcase, but the BABY makes it so much harder. We have to pack so much stuff for her. Blankets, extra clothes, toys, food, and so on. Right now I am struggling with how many bottles to take. I am not sure how I am going to clean them since the hotel we are staying in doesn't have a kitchen. I shudder at the thought of cleaning out her bottle in the bathroom. I am sure that I will figure something out.

This trip is going to be quick. We are just staying up there for one day. The whole point is to see how she travels. If this trip doesn't go well I don't know if we will be driving all the way to Utah. So, lets all hope she loves sitting in her car seat for 5 hours. We have plenty of Wiggles and Justin Roberts to keep her happy.

What she is going to like is the Underwater Adventure at the Mall of America. We will take lots of pictures and video for everyone to see. Speaking of video. Jack needs to put up the Daphne Dancing video I made. It is way beyond my ability to put up something as complicated as video on her page. I just barely figured out how to put up pictures.

The way I am packing for this two and a 1/2 day trip is insane. You would think I was going to Mars instead of a city with the LARGEST MALL in AMERICA. Geez, I am sure if I forget something like diaper wipes or Cheerios there is a Wal-mart nearby. And yet, I have to pack for every possible scenario. It is all part of my parent insanity. I have always been a worrier, but being a Mom takes it to ridiculous levels.

By the way, Daphne has a new disgusting habit. She has started sticking her entire hand in her mouth and sucking on it. It is the grossest habit yet. She is such a cute, curious, loving child, but it is hard to hug someone who has spit all over their fingers and chin. I looked it up online and I guess it is normal for kids to suck on their hands. In fact, it is a good thing because it means that she is learning to self soothe. I guess they are right, but wouldn't teaching her some Mantras to chant be better for all of us and a lot less sticky.

So, this is how a conversation between Jack and I went just outside of Waterloo Iowa with not a rest stop or gas station in sight:

Jack: What is that smell? Did the baby poop?

Holly: I think so.

Jack: We aren't driving to Utah.

Holly: Honey, I decided that 100 miles ago when I was sitting in the backseat with a baby who had a look on her face that said, "I hate you guys".

I will add more later when I feel am a little more settled and Daphne has had a nice long bath.

We will also add some nice travel pictures to her page soon.

So, would ya like to hear the details of our trip to Minnesota? Well, here for your enjoyment is a synopsis.

Day One

Mommy is crazy, Daddy is tired, Daphne has no idea what she is in for. We strap her into her car seat and head out, listening to a Wiggles CD that will be forever burned into my brain because we listened to it no less than seven times in a row. After about half an hour of riding in the back seat, strapped in so her movement was limited and all she had to look at was the back seat, Daphne FREAKED out. Well, wouldn't you? So, I had to sit in the back with her for the rest of the 300 mile drive.

We stopped in Waterloo at a mall so she could crawl around for a little while and so that Jack and I could get a brief respite from The Wiggles. By the time we started out again it had gotten dark. For some reason (of which I am grateful) I had thought to pack a flashlight. I put it in the side of her carseat so that it would shine off of the backseat and provide her some light so she could play with her toys and I could read a magazine.

The biggest fear we had was her sleeping the whole way and not wanting to go to bed when we got to the hotel. But, she stayed awake the WHOLE time. So, we thought that she would crash as soon as we got to the hotel. Wrong again. She was way too busy exploring every inch of the room. Finally, around midnight she fell asleep on the bed next to Jack. Whew!

Minnesota

We got up early (well, for us) and drove over to the aquarium at the Mall of America. Both Jack and I had been there before and knew that Daphne would love it. It has a turtle exhibit, an underwater tunnel that is filled with fish, turtles, sting rays, and sharks, a gallery where you can see an octopus, piranhas, and even a Finding Nemo fish tank. It also has a small pool where you can touch a shark.

Here is Daphne outside the Underwater Adventure.

Another picture at the aquarium

A very happy Daphne at Starfish Beach

In the tunnel (sorry, this is a very blurry picture)

Daphne touching a sting ray or a shark (I can't tell from the picture). Don't worry, the sharks' teeth are removed and the sting ray has its stinger removed. They like being touched. In fact, they are so happy that they breed in captivity.

Daphne by a waterfall in the Turtely Awesome Woods.

After the aquarium (which we visited again later in the afternoon), we went to Camp Snoopy to see if there were any rides that Daphne could go on. Sadly, she is still too small to go on anything but the carousel. Maybe in a year or two.

This picture was taken after an attempt to get Daphne to take a nap. She was way too stimulated to go to sleep. So, she is starting to look a little crazed.

But overall she is very happy.

After wandering around Camp Snoopy, we decided to take her back to the hotel and see if she would sleep. Nope! We tried for an hour and a half. We gave up and drove back to the Mall.

This was taken outside of the LEGO display.

I thought this life size LEGO Harry Potter was interesting, Daphne disagreed. Apparently her hand was much more interesting.

Daphne and Jack at the Apple Store. You are never too young to start the platform indoctrination.

This is really why people go to the Mall of America: to shove food in their faces.

Did you wonder whether Daphne ever fell apart? I think this picture answers that question. Right after this she finally fell asleep. We found a quiet place to let her rest.

So, the whole day was pretty great. Daphne had a lot of fun. Sometime when she is older we will go back to Minnesota and do more enriching activites like going to The Walker Art Museum .

Day Three (the nightmare begins)

So, I thought the trip there was bad. I had no idea how bad it could get. I really can't blame Daphne. She is such a patient girl, but she is 11 months old and being in the car that long is difficult. She didn't sleep on the way back and, yes, Jack and I had to take turns sitting in back with her. By the time she pooped, without a place to pull over for miles, we had all become completely unravelled.

So, no, we won't be driving to Utah. I said to Jack that we were wimps because the pioneers crossed the plains from Iowa City to Salt Lake. He responded by saying, "yes, but half of them died and they didn't have to make a return trip seven days later." True! So, we are flying out. We bought the tickets on Sunday. It is a done deal. Now we just have to figure out how we are going to keep her calm on the plane. I am starting my life's work of memorizing every Wiggles song I can.

Gosh, I love Daphne, but is it too much to ask her to be a little reasonable? Is it too much to ask for at least one diaper change a day to be less of an Olympic Event? She twists and turns so much that I can't ever tell if I have gotten the diaper on securely. Is it too soon to toilet train? Not that I think that is going to be a pleasurable experience.

Jack and I think that maybe the terrible twos begin at 11 months. I think that Daphne is going to be a willful child. That is the nicest way I can think of saying it. She definitely has opinions about what she likes and doesn't like. She has also started doing little tantrums over little things. Today, for example, I closed the bathroom door so she couldn't get in. You would think I had destroyed the universe. Huge tears streamed down her face and she screamed before crawling to the kitchen and trying to pull herself up on the dishwasher. To make matters worse, the dishwasher wasn't locked so the front came down on her head (very softly). Oh, lord. The dishwasher KILLED her! She just laid on the floor like a lump silently crying. Of course I picked her up and cuddled her and sang her favorite song of the week (Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head). Which under the circumstances seemed appropriate. Poor Daphne! She needs so much love and attention.

Speaking of age. I am turning into a crazed lady (sorry, too late, I already am crazy). Anyway, I am even more crazy now because she is turning one next month and I am worried that she isn't doing the things that a one year old should. I am guessing that by this age most children are walking, reciting verses from Shakespeare, using blocks to build towers, and eating with a spoon and fork. Just to let you know how crazed I have become, I actually solicited information from another Mom yesterday. Poor Mommy, she needs so much love and attention.

I am going to confess something to you. I don't read to Daphne as much as I should. When she was much younger I bought a lot of books and checked a zillion out of the library. I was going to have her reading before she was three years old. She was going to LOVE reading and have a million favorite books. I was going to have Good Night Moon and The Runaway Bunny memorized (actually I do have Good Night Moon memorized, but not on purpose).

But, alas Daphne does not like it when I read to her. She screams and tries to wiggle away. I can't get her to pay any attention to a book whether she is in my lap or on the floor. Jack can get her interested in a book if he reads it in a VERY SILLY voice. But, even then she is only interested for a short time. So, I am feeling very guilty.

The thing is though, she LOVES music. We play music all day long. And not just the Wiggles. We play classical music, folk music, madrigals, and even some popular music (but no Rage Against the Machine, I agree with their politics I can't stand their music).

I also sing to her all day long. I sing and sing and sing. She is the only person in the world who actually likes to hear me sing. Sometimes it is the only thing I can do to calm her down when she is upset and it is the only way I can get her to go to sleep.

Here are Daphne's top five favorite songs (this week)

5. Never Met a Man I Didn't Like (Will Rogers Follies)

4. The Gambler (Kenny Rogers)

3. Build Me Up Buttercup

2. Raindrops Keep Fallin on My Head

1. Hot Potato

So, I guess my point is that we are at least doing SOMETHING to develop her brain.

Oh, and you can witness Daphne's love of music through some video Jack put up on her page. Let us know if you have any problems downloading it.

I have been very worried about Daphne's attachment to her bottle. It has appeared to be much worse that her emotional bond with nursing. I figured we were in for a long battle over giving up the bottle. BUT, yesterday just as an experiment we didn't give Daphne a bottle. She got all of her formula (just three times a day) in a sippy cup. Lo and behold she didn't freak out. I guess the attachment is with formula not the bottle. OR maybe the sippy cup fulfills her needs. It doesn't really matter because we are packing up the bottles for good. We may leave one or two out because she occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and the only way we can get her to go back to sleep is by giving her some water in a bottle. I am not ready to give that up.

Two short weeks from now will be Daphne's first birthday. I have been trying to remember what I was feeling at this time last year. I think I was a mixture of scared and excited (what else could I have been feeling????). I know that I was a Biiiiiig Lady. In fact, I was so big that the midwives thought I was going to have a 10 pound baby. It came as a huge suprise to everyone when Daphne was just a mere 7 pounds 11 ounces. The theory is that I was just fat. In my defense short women look bigger because they don't have as much space in their torso for the baby. But, it is possible that I did eat too many rice krispie treats.

Here is what I looked like last March.

I know! I was huge! It makes me feel a little better about what I look like now.

Anyway, I am starting to get very sentimental. My baby is growing up so fast. I miss her squishy little face. But I am sure there are many rewards to come now that she is becoming a toddler. At least she is getting better at communicating her needs. And boy is she still cute!

Things you GIVE UP when you decide to have a child:

1. Watching a DVD the WHOLE way through.

2. The ability to leave home without packing your entire body weight in baby supplies.

3. Being able to eat in non-family themed restaurants.

4. Organized drawers, closets, book shelves, refrigerator, etc.

5. Naps!

What you GAIN when you decide to have a child:

1. About three dress sizes (one goes away when you actually give birth the other two stay).

2. Your entire body weight in stuffed animals.

3. A reason to look forward to holidays.

4. The ability to call up any Raffi song at a moments notice.

5. A warm and wonderful human being who gives you reason to wake up in the morning because you know that they will always greet you with a huge grin and give you the best hug of your life.

Here are a few of the games Daphne enjoys playing:

The Drive Mommy Crazy Game

There are many variations of this game. The most recent is for Daphne to hand me a toy and then scream for me to give it back. She will also throw a toy and scream for me to get it for her or scream while trying to retrieve it. Or she will drop toys and food from her high chair and SCREAM for me to pick it up. Basically to Daphne Screaming = Fun.

I'm Just Kidding About Being Tired Game

This one is super fun. Daphne starts to act like she is tired. She rubs her eyes, starts killing me softly with her whine, etc. I pick her up and start rubbing her belly until her eyes close shut and her face relaxes. I then walk into her bedroom and put her in her crib only to have her sproing awake and proclaim that she is JUST KIDDING and yell for me to pick her up.

The Put Every Dangerous Object Into My Mouth Game

Daphne has the ability to spot a paper clip or piece of lint from a mile away. As far as she is concerned anything on the floor that she can pick up is food. She especially enjoys eating pages from magazines. Yesterday we took her to the play area at the mall where she enjoyed eating stray cookie crumbs. Yaaa Daphne! Hope you don't get diarrhea.

Don't read this post. Seriously. If you are offended by the subject of BM's. If you can only say BM's and not Poop, please don't read this post.

Anyway, this is my public service announcement for anyone out there considering having a child or who looks at children in line at the grocery store and longs to have one of their own (that was me). This post is for you.

Yesterday Daphne reached another milestone. Pooping in the tub. Yes, I said it. Pooping in the tub. She was having a great time in her ducky bathtub splashing around and screaming at the top of her lungs. Suddenly she got a VERY somber look on her face as if she was going about some SERIOUS BUSINESS. Jack turned to me and said, "I think that she is pooping". He said it in his usual calm voice with a touch of alarm to it. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her out, and here comes the gross part: she had a piece of poop stuck to her. And THEN it fell off and rolled onto the floor. Ahhhhhhhh! It was a very dramatic way to end the day. Let's just say that we got out the clorox and had a BIG clean up party.

So, there you go. Possibly that story crossed the line, but I feel that people need to know what having kids is really like.

One of the bonuses of being married to a caffiene addict is free iTunes songs. We have about a million Pepsi Bottle caps with codes to download free songs from iTunes and I have been going iTunes crazy. Mostly I have been buying songs for Daphne to bounce to. She loves the two latest songs (Matilda and Beyond the Sea) I have downloaded. I have also been downloading songs that I haven't thought about in years.

Here is a list of songs that remind me of High School (and my freshman year of college):

1. Trouble - Cat Stevens (Mostly because it is the ultimate teenage angst song)

2. You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman - Carole King (It reminds me of cigarettes, rain, and ducks)

3. Anything by James Taylor (Ahhh, the perfect car trip music)

4. Anything by the Violent Femmes (Ahhh, the perfect make your parents angry music)

5. Patience - Guns and Roses (I thought Axel was hot, don't understand it now, but I am not 18 anymore)

6. Rock Lobster - B-52's (Best dance song ever)

7. I Melt with You - Modern English (Best make-out song ever, not that I would have been caught dead making-out)

8. Beaches Soundtrack ( I couldn't leave that one out even though it is the worst car trip music ever)

9. Tainted Love - Soft Cell (Every dance club in Utah played this at least three times a night)

10. Anything by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians (I wanted to BE Edie Brickell)

I know, many of the songs I listed are from the seventies. What can I say. I was kind of granola in high school and really granola in college. But I was NEVER a hippie or anything like that. The proof of that is that I lost many friends to the Grateful Dead.

By the way, I didn't download any of the above songs. Well, maybe one or two. But not SOFT CELL or Anything from Beaches!

Oh, and one more thing: This is in no way a best of list. Just the songs that bring back VERY strong teenage memories.

The lesson I learned this weekend is this: Do not introduce new toys to Daphne when she is in the bath tub. See, we thought that she was getting old enough to have some toys in the tub with her. We thought she would enjoy splashing around with some bath wind-up toys we found at Target. Unfortunately Daphne had a panic attack. She couldn't get far enough from the toy and went so far as to almost climb out of the tub. She would have climbed out if she was capable of such a thing. We couldn't figure it out, but won't make that mistake again.

Right now Jack is on the floor trying to get her used to the wind-up toys we didn't put in the tub with her. She is very tentative about playing with them. Jack is holding them in his hand and she keeps coming over to him and touching them and then running away. Eventually she will get used to them and I hope we can put them in the tub with her.

Daphne is also showing fear in other situations. She is dreadfully afraid of giraffes she sees on TV. She is also afraid of Grover. She cowers in the corner whenever he is on Sesame Street. I don't know why. I love Grover. I wish she were afraid of Elmo, he is freaking annoying.

I just spent 28 minutes getting Daphne to sleep for what will probably turn out to be a fifteen minute nap. It's so much work to get her to fall asleep. I know, I can hear all you people out there saying, "You need to let your baby cry it out!" Well, I am sorry. I can't hear you because I am distracted by the sounds of my HAPPY and WELL-ADJUSTED child. Bleah to you!

Anyway, fifteen minutes is just enough time for me to blog (is that a verb?) and sort some laundry. My life is so rich and full. I went to the bank today. Very exciting. I had a two second confersation that meant way more to me than the very busy woman at the drive-up.

This week is full of more excitement and fun, although we don't see Eliana today because she is at home celebrating Passover. But, we get to go to the library tommorrow and the eye doctor on Wednesday. Thursday is Survivor All Stars and The Apprentice. By Friday I am going to be exhausted from such a hectic week.

This is a Daffodil Cake. Doesn't it look pretty? We thought so. We thought that it would be a great cake for Daphne's birthday. You know, Daphne....Daffodil.

Anyway, we decided to make it tonight to see if we were capable of such a thing. Unfortunately watching hours and hours of The Food Network has not made us culinary masters. Our cake sucks. It sucks so bad that I took one bite and wanted throw up. It has the texture of day old bread and has a layer of burnt crumbs on top. We attempted to put some lemon frosting on top, but it made the cake taste worse is contrast.

I guess she is getting something else for her birthday. Maybe we will go out and actually pay someone with some baking skills to make her birthday cake. Oh, and I am so glad that we went out and spent thirteen dollars on a tube cake pan.

Here is our creation. Yummy!

I know that I complain about Daphne a lot in my blog. So in an attempt to give equal treatment to all my feelings about Daphne here are a few things that I found endearing about Daphne today:

* Daphne woke me up this morning by saying "Mama, Mom, Mama". When I opened my eyes I could see a look of complete serenity on her face. As if saying my name gave her a deep sense of comfort and happiness.

* She picked up two DVD cases and ran (and I mean ran as in sprinted) toward me. When she got to my legs she stopped and toppled over sideways. It's only cute because of her extreme joy and pride while she was running.

* She giggles at the Wiggles.

* She does her funny little bum dance with the Wiggles.

* The way she studies EVERYTHING. She turns over an object, making sure to see it from all angles before sticking it in her mouth to see how it tastes.

* Sometimes she smiles this wicked little smile right before she smacks me with one of her toys. Proving once and for all that there is no way she was switched at birth (not that we ever thought that). This child most certainly has half of my genes.

Here is a picture of her latest victim:

Today was Daphne's second check-up with the eye doctor. He is a he and I am firm in my opinion that women make better doctors. Yes, it sounds sexist, but that is my opinion. I hate generalizing like that (oh you horrible Men are from Mars, Women from Venus people know what I am talking about), but in this case Women doctors (and my lovely dentist) are just better communicators. And I just can't see any woman doctor I have ever gone to letting my little Daphne scream and cry through an exam. Yes, he needed to look at her eyes and he is VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT, but to let her scream for fifteen minutes and telling me I can't let her turn around so I can comfort her, especially since she is so afraid of the stuffed animals that become animated and make very loud noises. Well, in my opinon he is just a dick.

So, I was very positive about her improvement. I was thinking that we had this little problem licked. But nooooooo!. I was wrong, wrong, WRONG!. The doctor said that it is not improving as much as he would like. So, now we have to start patching for longer. If anyone out there knows of a place that I can get hypoallergenic patches PLEASE let me know. The ones we use now leave a red mark on her little face. We tried a different kind than the ones we are using now, but they caused her to have an abrasion that started bleeding.

I don't want to pass blame or anything, but seriously if Jack only had a stronger NO STRABISMUS gene that could have fought my stupid strabismus gene we wouldn't be in this situation. Ha! I like the idea of genes and allelles having to duke it out.

(please don't get all smarty pants and think you need to explain genetics to me; this was just a joke)

I think that I have given Daphne a psychological disorder. I had better start saving now for the thousands and thousands of dollars we are going to need for her therapy. As her parents, we have failed.

It is all about the bath. She used to LOVE her bath time. She would splash and laugh and laugh and splash. In fact, sometimes she would cry when we took her out. THEN, we decided to introduce the dreaded bath toys. She hasn't been the same since. Now when we try to give her a bath she screams and panics the entire time. Last night we couldn't even get her to sit down, so she took her bath standing up. I think we are going to have to give up her duckie bath tub and put her in the real tub. We feel just awful about the whole thing.

Speaking of psychological disorders; I think that MTV's I Want a Famous Face is a very disturbing show. I think that the need to go through plastic surgery so you can look like a famous person should be classified in the DSM IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

It is actually Daphne's 2nd Easter. I thought that it was her first Easter and then I remembered that she was born the Sunday before Easter (Palm Sunday). I remembered this because her Aunt Mauria gave her a very cute bunny rattle last year. Unfortunately that is about all I remember about last Easter. It is all a blur. I do remember crying because I was still so large that I could only wear my maternity clothes and I had to send my Mom and Mauria out to buy me some nightgowns.

Even though this isn't Daphne's first Easter we are celebrating it like it is. She got a basket with a bunny and a book. I have given her a book for every holiday. A tradition I would like to keep going until she is overflowing in books. Not that I would mind her overflowing in books. Books are great. I hope she likes to read as much as Jack does.

Before Daphne was born Jack was reading several books a week. Now, he only reads when he has a minute or two of quiet because Daphne is otherwise occupied (Ha!) or sleeping. She doesn't give him much time to himself. She is so in love with him that if he ignores her for only a moment she gets hysterical. It is the downside to being Daphne's favorite parent (and person in the whole world). Everything I read says that she will go through different phases of prefering one parent over other. I doubt that she will go through a phase where she likes me better than Jack. She really is a Daddy's Girl.

Not that I am complaining. I kind of enjoy having some extra time in the evening. Poor Jack!

We are on our way out to Bryon and Mauria's for some Easter brunch. We will be devouring ham, waffles, and eggs all in the name of the Easter Bunny I suppose.

Happy Easter to You All!

Well, it is the eve of Daphne's first birthday. You all don't mind if I weep a little while writing this, do you?

Where did the year go? Where is my baby? Who took my squishy little baby? I don't know who they are, but they left a toddler behind. A cute, loving, and very squirmy toddler behind. We like her a lot, but sure do miss our little baby. I have very strong memories of Daphne being around five months old. One is of her in the ladybug costume she wore for Halloween. I don't think any baby has ever been cuter (give me a break, I am a Mom, of course my baby is the cutest).

I also have a memory of taking her to the library early in winter. She was all bundled up in her bear coat and a purple hat. It was night and there was a little bit of snow falling. Jack was holding her and I looked over and thought, she is absolutely beautiful in the moonlight. But, she is getting so big so I had better memorize this moment. Weep! I also thought that I was going to remember this moment later and long for another baby. It hasn't happened yet, thank goodness.

So, a year ago today was a very busy day. I woke up at 6 am to find myself sitting in a puddle of water. My water had broken and I had a hell (sorry), I mean a heck of a time waking Jack up. Finally he woke up and we called the midwife. She told us to eat a light breakfast, take a shower, and come in around 10:00 a.m. When we got to the hospital we were immediately given a room and I changed into a hospital gown. They put me on a petocin (sp?) drip while I settled in to watch a marathon of the VH-1 show We Love The Eighties. I thought that by the time they got to 1989 (we were at 1982) I would have a baby. I couldn't have been more wrong. Twenty five hours later, I still didn't have a baby. They decided to cut me open and pull her out by the head. There are still parts of my scar that are purple. Yeeuck!

I think I will go give my BIG girl a big hug. Sigh!

As a way to celebrate Daphne's First Birthday I thought I would compile a list of Daphne's favorite (and least favorite things):

Favorite Color: Blue (color of the ocean and the sky)

Least Favorite Color: Orange (color of the tiger puppet and horrible horrible giraffes)

Favorite Food: Yogurt, Squash, Apple Juice, and Pie (oh, sorry Jack is the one
who likes pie; we would never give pie to a baby)

Least Favorite Food: Broccoli

Favorite Songs: Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head, Build Me Up Buttercup,
Sunrise Sunrise (Norah Jones)

Least Favorite Songs: Anything by Jessica Simpson (nope, sorry, that is me)

Favorite Movie: Finding Nemo

Least Favorite Movie: Anything Mommy and Daddy Want to Watch

Favorite TV Show: The Wiggles

Least Favorite TV Show: The View (no, sorry, me again)

Favorite Toy: Her Doggy, Her Music Table, and Her Teethers

Least Favorite Toy: Tub Toys

Favorite Time of Day: Morning

Least Favorite Time of Day: Right Before She Takes a Nap

Favorite Thing to Do: Go to the Park, Be with Her Daddy

Least Favorite Thing to Do: Have Her Picture Taken

What Makes Daphne Laugh: Anything Silly That Daddy Does, Mommy Dancing

What Makes Daphne Cry: Riding Too Long In Her Car Seat

What Makes Daphne Smile: A Good Long Nap, Daddy Coming Home From Work

What Makes Daphne Cranky: Being Ignored, Having to Wait For Mommy and
Daddy to Make Her Food

Happy Birthday Daphne! We Love You Very Much!

While Daphne plays with all of her new birthday toys I am going to fill you in on the big party (well, small party).

We had just a few people over. We didn't want to overwhelm Daphne. Bryon and Mauria came over (of course) and Eliana came with her parents. Daphne and Eliana (she was a BIG help) opened her million presents and got many, many cute dresses and books. She also got a noisy toy phone that she LOVES. Now maybe she will leave my phone alone. She also got an activity puzzle cube from Jack and me. We are all about educational toys.

Her Aunt Mauria wrote her a story titled Daphne and the Big, Black Hole. Maybe I will post it on her page sometime (along with her birthday pictures). We didn't take many pictures because we were so busy chasing the little girl around. She doesn't crawl very much anymore, but can walk very fast before falling on her bum.

Bryon and Mauria brought her a swimming suit and a life jacket. It is for when they take her out on their sailboat this summer, of course the only way that is going to happen is if I am in a coma. I suppose I am willing to consider it after further discussion, but geez, a boat!

We ate some cake and Daphne had a cupcake (without frosting). She became very wired and delivered a very long soliloquy on the joys of suger before dropping off to sleep.

That is about it until next year. Children's parties are exhausting!

So, I was wondering all day today about what kind of person Daphne will be when she grows up. Mostly I was thinking about this because of my new addiction to Air America Radio which I can listen to online. Anyway, I was listening and looking at Daphne and thinking about how I want to instill values in her that are important to me. I realize that she is her own person and I would NEVER be the type of parent who tried to create a little copy of me. I want her to be her own unique individual self.

But, I would like her to be a liberal type person. Someone who cares about people and not just wars and big business and tax cuts and junk like that. But, alas, she will probably be a bible thumping, Windows using, Republican or she will marry someone like that.

Now, don't get offended. There is nothing wrong with being a bible thumping, Windows using, Republican. Some of my relatives fall into that category. BUT, I am entitled to desire my daughter to follow in my liberal minded ways.

It doesn't matter what I want. Most of us get our values during those great adolescent years anyway. I can set a foundation, but ultimately she will be influenced by the media and her friends. There is only so much I can do.

BUt, she won't do drugs or drink and drive. Not as long as I am breathing!

Oh, about Daphne. She has started pointing. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is the first time I have seen her really interact with her environment. She points and then says some nonsense word. I think she is naming things in her native language Daphnese.

She has added a new word to her her vocabulary. Along with "HI", "MAMA", "DADA", and "DOG" she can now say "SHOOSH" (juice). She really has "DOG" down. Today at the park she pointed to some dogs and said, "DOCK".

Yes, she is a genius.

It is official. I am not going to take Daphne to the play area in the mall for a very long time. She is sick again and I blame the play area.

Jack, Daphne, and I were going to take a small day trip tomorrow to celebrate her birthday, but now that is ruined. Damn you John Deere Play Area at the Coralridge Mall! You are a disease infested pit of snotty children and fecal matter.

I swear that I wash her hands after playing there, but who knows how many times she rubs her eyes or sticks her fingers in her mouth. Aaaagh!

Jack had to come home and rescue me from Daphne during his lunch today. I just couldn't take it. She woke up at 6 (she usually gets up at 8) this morning kicking me in the stomach and slapping at my face. I could not get her to go back to sleep even though she was up until 11:00 last night (I know, bad parents). I do have an excuse for the late night. We were waiting for a poo that never came.

So, now she has a runny nose and a bad cough and is constipated. I finally had to call Jack because I was going out of my mind because she was running (yes running) around in little circles screaming her head off. Nothing I could think of would stop the screaming. She screamed from the time she woke up until around 11:30 or so when Jack walked through the door. If she didn't have a sore throat when she woke up, then she most certainly has one now.

Jack rocked her to sleep while I had a brief respite from the SCREAMING. He got her to go to sleep and then 15 minutes later she woke up screaming. Finally we got out the old car seat and rocked her back to sleep. She has been sleeping for about a 1/2 hour. I hope she sleeps for another hour.

It is funny, because we were just discussing how well she was sleeping. She has been going down for one or two naps a day and getting to bed before 10.

Oh, and I hate having to be rescued by Jack, but I really was going insane from the SCREAMING. I love that Jack works five minutes from home. It is a nice reminder of why we are staying in Iowa City.

So, we were going to go on a quick little trip today, BUT the Daphner is still sick. Jack had scheduled a vacation day and now is stuck at home with a sick kid. Now he is insisting that I go and do something in order to get out and be by myself for awhile. The problem is this: I don't know how to go out by myself anymore because I am used to towing a 23 pound little person around everywhere I go.

The thing about Daphne is that I have gotten used to being an invisible person and I am starting to like it. I don't have to worry about my appearance because I am competing with a beautiful little charmer. People don't even notice me and if they do I just look like a frazzled mother of a toddler. No one expects me to have nice hair or perfect make-up. I don't even have to look clean, I can have snot stains on my shirt and no one even cares.

But, if I go out by myself I am going to have to put some effort into how I look. And since my normal beauty regimen consists of brushing my hair and putting on some mascara I am not ready to face the world sans baby. In fact a night when I had time and strength to cut my toenails would feel like a trip to the spa.

I guess I will just go to the mall. Everyone there looks like crap too.

Daphne is very happy that Jack is home. They are playing with a ball today. The amazing Daphne was able to retrieve the ball when Jack pointed to it and said, "Daphne get the ball." She then brought the ball over to him and bounced it several times.

Did I tell you my daughter is a genius?

I just sent Jack and Daphne to the park so I could get some cleaning done. Yes, I stopped to blog. What are you going to do about it?

I was thinking that having a spotless home means one of two things:

A. I have a maid.

B. I neglect my child

Since I don't do either that must mean my home isn't spotless.

Things I do:

1. The dishes (I hate dishes in the sink)

2. I make sure there is clean laundry

3. I clean the bathroom

4. I dust (that was one of my New Year's resolutions)

Is there anything else I need to do? Oh, pick up Daphne's one million toys that seem to be everywhere I look. Who needs to exercise when they are bending down to pick up all day?

Things I don't do:

1. Clean the top of the fridge.

2. Clean spider webs out of the corners of the closets

3. Clean the closets

4. I only make my bed when I know people are coming over

5. I rarely vacuum because Daphne screams and screams. Besides she has turned out to be a mighty fine human vacuum cleaner (kidding, sort of).

6. Or any other tedious task that takes time away from my baby

Well, back to the cleaning.

This morning I was eating a grape popsicle and Daphne came over to investigate because she feels that she is entitled to anything I am eating. I think that this is reasonable since for a good part of her life what I ate was what she ate. Anyway, she came over and I offered her a taste of the popsicle. She attempted to taste it but turned away and yelled. She came back over and tried again, but found it horrible, horrible, horrible. She fell to the floor in a heap and let out a long slow whine.

So, then she grabbed it from me (the popsicle part, not the stick) and tried to run away with it, but she learned very quickly that popsicles are COLD. She tried to drop it but I managed to grab it before it hit the floor. But, the popsicle had the last laugh because she was left with a sticky hand that she also found very upsetting. She kept opening and closing her hand and looking around in horror. And then I had the nerve to start eating the popsicle again, Oh no Mommy, not the popsicle!

The lesson we learned to today is that Daphne does not like popsicles. Not only does Daphne not want to eat a popsicle, she doesn't want me to eat popsicles.

Now she is eating some apricot toast which she finds much more satisfying.

I am starting to get concerned. There are NO jobs in my field. I had one interview about three weeks ago. I would apply for more jobs if there were any job openings. Oh, the sad state of the economy.

So, what are we going to do? Well, I can tell you that when we go out to Utah I am going to be scanning the classifieds. We REALLY don't want to move back to Utah and who knows if Jack can get a job there. What I do know is that he wouldn't be able to find as good a job there as he has here. And we have found a good daycare. I don't want her in some Utah daycare with 12 million kids. Crap!

Maybe I will go buy a powerball ticket. Crap! I have to find a job because my teaching license expires in May 2005. I don't know what I will have to do if I don't work as a teacher. Can they take my license away? Gosh, I had better call the Dept. of Education.

Ok, so I need to relax. I promised Jack I wouldn't freak out until June 15th. That is my agreed upon freak out day. If I haven't seen any more job openings by then, well then even Jack may freak out and he is an emotional rock.

We actually have a rule in our relationship (it is why we work so well together). We can't both have a nervous breakdown at the same time. Only one person gets to be an emotional wreck at any given time. I think I have had a million turns and Jack has had only two or three. I declare that June 16th is his freak out day.

Waiting to hear back from a job interview is torture. Pure torture.

Ohh, Daphne has my wallet. That won't end good. Gotta go.....

I have created a monster. A non-sleeping monster. I can't tell if it is bad parenting or a genetic predisposition to not wanting to sleep. Whatever it is, I am losing my mind.

I am not complaining about being a family bed. I have no problem sleeping next to Daphne. I don't even mind the nights that she sleeps with her foot in my face. And when she is in daycare, I will be happy to hold and cuddle her all night.

The Problem is trying to get her to go to sleep. It takes 20 minutes to get her down. She requires that I lay next to her and scratch her back or arm while she wiggles and stands up and screams in protest. It wouldn't be a problem if I only had to do it once a day, but three times is a road paved with resentment.

I have been reading LOTS of books and articles about sleeping. I have tried all their tricks. Well, all of their tricks except letting her cry herself to sleep. We won't be doing that. Let me say that again, "We won't be having Daphne cry herself to sleep."

I read one article that stated, "It is detrimental to not teach your child to put themselves to sleep." I scanned the article twice and couldn't find any information on why it is detrimental. Is she going to grow up to be a mass murderer if she doesn't "cry it out"?

Also, I am pretty sure that anything I did now to teach her to go to sleep, would just be undone when she hits the terrible twos.

So, I am stuck with my creation. She probably gets it from us. We don't model good sleep habits here. Jack and I are both night owls. I find that I am at my most alert between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m. Jack and I also have a hard time putting ourselves to sleep. We both toss and turn a lot before REM sleep kicks in.

I guess we should just learn to live with it or maybe start giving her some brandy around 9 p.m.

Today is Take Your Daughter (and Son) to Work Day. But, Daphne is just too little to go to work with her Daddy. He wouldn't get any work done.

Daphne just ate a whole banana and a glass of milk. That was her snack. She really is The Baby Who Ate the Whole World.

Last night we tried to go for a ride, but I don't know if I have told you this or not, Daphne hates her carseat. She screamed and screamed and screamed. I kept trying to point out all the interesting things to see, but she just want to scream. We finally stopped and got her some apple juice. Which she swigged down like the frat boy that she is. She even had a second juice box. And the big news is that she used a straw. I didn't have a sippy cup with us (dumb Mommy) so I let her go for it. She was a pro. Is using a straw a developmental milestone? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Lately she has been trying to climb up the furniture. I am scared. I am not encouraging this. Even as I write this she is trying to climb up the couch. Stop Daphne, there is no hurry to be a big girl!

Ha, as I write this I am sitting in my pre-pregnancy pants. "Ha", I say. They are buttoned up and everything. They don't look great but I can button them up. I know, most of you are thinking, "Geez, hasn't it been a year already?" "Shouldn't she have lost all that weight a long time ago?" Well, Blah to you! I still haven't gotten back to pre-pregnancy weight, but getting into these pants is a step in the right direction.

I hope it doesn't rain too much this weekend. We are planning on taking Daphne to Riverfest on Saturday. It is kind of a lame event, but at least it is somthing to do in this dumb town.

So, if you have nothing to celebrate today, you can celebrate that I can get into my PANTS!

I took this test twice and both times came up with this. I guess this really is who I am. Give it a try.

Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

Oh and thanks Aprille. She really does have the best links.

It has been a rainy, windy, cold weekend. I just sent Jack and Daphne off to the Children's Museum so that I could CLEAN again. I know that the Children's Museum is a disease infested pit just like the John Deere Play Area, but I gave Jack very specific instructions to show NO MERCY and wash her hands often, no matter how much she complains.

I have spent the afternoon euthanizing some of my plants. The rule around here is plants and babies aren't a good mix. I used to have a lot of plants, now I just have the good hearty ones. The ones that can go without care or water for a looooong time. It is sad, really sad. I used to have beautiful plants.

Ahhh, but I can have them again. When I am an old lady I want to own a home that has a greenhouse (or I will build a greenhouse). I also want a pottery wheel. I don't want one now, I want to be a little old lady who makes pots.

I won't have a garden though. I HATE bugs and worms. Gardens are beautiful and bugs and worms are important to the world as a whole, but I don't want to touch them. Don't ask me why because the only answer I have is that they are yucky. A green house will suit me just fine.

I have been alone for about and hour and was thinking. Something I rarely get to do because a good portion of my brain is used to keep Daphne out of one dangerous situation after another and the rest is used up trying to not listen to her music. So, I have been cleaning, and dusting, and washing all the germs off of Daphne's toys. I am listening to grown-up music, Ani Difranco to be exact. You know, the type of music that we don't play very often around here. Daphne is at an age where she may pick up an interesting vocabulary if we were to listen to Ani too often. It is a nice change though.

Here is a recent photo of Daphne on the carousel at the mall. She is so focused.

Daphne is a biter. I hope this is a phase. I hope she doesn't go to daycare in August and bite other children. I am afraid they will kick her out.

Since we believe that ALL behavior is communication we would like to figure out WHY she is biting us so much. I have a few theories going around in my head. Here they are:

A. Daphne is Hungry

I wonder if she is trying to communicate that she is hungry. I made a huge mistake by giving her a cracker after she bit me (actually I did this several times). I don't want to reward bad behavior, so I am going to stop giving her something to eat after I have been bitten. Besides, she doesn't bite me every time she is hungry. This theory has flaws.

B. Daphne is Pissed About Being Patched

I imagine that Daphne is holding a grudge against us for patching her eye every day. I am sure that it is very annoying to have a band aid over your eye for 3 hours. Jack and I both tried it and I lasted about 10 minutes. It also HURTS a lot when it comes off. But, for this theory to hold true she would bite me right after I put it on.

C. Daphne Likes the Feeling of Warm Flesh Between Her Teeth

This is the theory Jack agrees with. "Yuck", I say. I hope this isn't true. I wouldn't know how to fix it. I am also imagining a very strange adolescence.

D. Daphne Thinks She is Playing

I think that this is what is going on. She gets a good reaction from us when we yelp out, "OUCH". We made a huge mistake early on (before she had so many sharp teeth) of laughing when she would try to bite us.

Everything I have read suggests that we should ignore it. Anything we do will just reinforce it. Some people suggest that after she bites we should say very firmly, "No Biting".

We both tried that last night. Jack made her cry so hard that she couldn't take in air and when I did it she just got really quiet and sulked.

Needless to say, we both felt like the worst parents in the world.

Where did the month go? It is almost May. May is my birthday month. This year I am going to be a year closer to 40. Forty is the age that scares me the most. I feel that I should have my life in order by 40. I guess I thought that about 30, and well here I am, lost as usual.

I do have an extra cute baby. I guess that is something. Oh, and I guess I have a biiiiiig fancy degree. Not that it is doing it's job right now. My Master's degree needs to start earning its keep. It needs to go out there and find me a job. My degree is a slacker.

I am also suffering from allergies. I need some Allegra right now. Do they sell that over the counter or do I have to go see a doctor? Not that I can afford Allegera. If I remember correctly it was $70 a bottle. Do you know how many cute sun dresses I could buy Daphne for $70? A lot. Because we live very close to the Carter's and Osh Kosh outlet stores. Oh, I guess that is another good thing about Iowa. I am trying to make a list, so that I can look at it when I am feeling down and depressed and wanting to move to Seattle.

OK, enough for now.

You know, I wasn't going to write about my job interview experience, but I think you all need to know just what I am up against.

I applied for a job at a local high school. The interview went well, they told me my references were outstanding and the principal told me I had done a good job. I was informed that I would be notified within the next two weeks. I walked away feeling very good about my chances.

I waited to hear from them. I waited. I waited some more. I waited even longer. Finally a month went by. I was confused. They had told me they would inform me within two weeks. So, I called a friend who works at the high school and she told me they hired someone TWO DAYS AFTER MY INTERVIEW. TWO DAYS! They didn't even have the decency to call me and tell me they had hired someone even though they told me they would.

So, that is what I am up against. Very depressing here. No job openings in the area.

I like my baby though. She makes me very happy so I am able to counter my yucky feelings about the rest of the world.

Daphne is my first child (we all knew that). So, I am very protective of her. Sometimes I may seem a little too protective. Some people even suggest that I am overprotective. Sometimes they say, "Oh, it is because she is your first child." I have even been known to say it.

So, I have to wonder what happens with the second child? Does the second child get to play with dog poop, lick bathroom floors, and run with a mouth full of croutons? I was a second child. I would hope that my parents were as protective of me as they were with my older brother.

Speaking of Daphne. She is very interested in books right now. We read her a book before bedtime and then she reads us a book. It is so funny to listen to Daphne recite her version of the story we just read. She points to all of the pictures and speaks in her weird language. This week we are hearing a lot of "yum yum num" and "ubba dubba". I don't know what it means, but it sure is charming.

We leave for Utah on Wednesday. Daphne is going to see people that she won't remember from when she was 1 month old and four months old. Everything will be new and scary. It will be nice for her to be around family. Her Grandparents Pinette have been here this week, so she is used to having lots of people want to hold and hug her. By the time we come back from Utah she should be comfortable with a lot of attention and then she will have to learn how to entertain herself all over again.

We are praying that she doesn't get sick. Last time we went out she got a cold on the plane. Would it be too Michael Jackson of me to put a protective mask on her head? Yes? OK, I agree, that is a little extreme.

I won't be able to update for the next week, but I will be seeing most of you anyway.

Wish us luck. We will need it.

We got back safe and sound this afternoon. It will come as no surprise to any of you that I am tired. Taking a trip with a one-year-old to see family is not an easy thing. We loved seeing everyone though. And it is very sad to take little Daphne away from her many Grandparents.

So, I am tired and I keep walking past my bedroom and looking at my bed. It looks so familiar and comfortable. I doubt that I will get much sleep tonight. Daphne picked up a cold while in Utah and has four teeth coming in on the bottom and two coming in on top. If you look at her gums they are swollen and covered with little white bumps. Poor Baby!

Our flight out was great, but our flight back was terrible. Both planes left 45 minutes late. At one point while sitting in a plane in Minnesota I thought that we were going to drive the plane to Iowa. The worst part of the trip was the three hours I had to spend next to a very nice woman who could not stop passing gas. Very Smelly! I think she must have had a serious medical condition.

Anyway, we had a good time with everyone and really miss the mountains.

Ahh Iowa. The moisture is returning to my skin and my hair is much softer. The air was so dry in Utah that my skin started to sting and my lips were so chapped that they felt swollen. Daphne was having a hard time too, she still has some dry skin on her cheeks. I guess that is one point for Iowa.

Daphne was spoiled in Utah. Very spoiled. So spoiled that she thinks that I am going to carry her around all day long. I am an old lady and my back can't handle carrying a 22 pound child. So, there will be lots of whining in our home today. I can't wait until Jack gets home.

I hope that Daphne isn't lonely with just me here. She loves playing with kids. I wish there was a play group for her to belong to. I have looked everywhere and unless I want to drive to Cedar Rapids (and I don't) there isn't much available. Everything gets a lot better when she turns two.

It was nice to have the Grandparents around. Sharing attention duty is so much better.

BUT, it is kind of nice to have Daphne to myself again. We are having a bonding day. I guess I had better get back to my attention starved child so that we can enjoy the moist air together.

I promise that we will have Utah pictures up soon. I can only put one picture at a time because I haven't mastered Kung-Log. Whatever that is.

My Grandmother passed away today. I am very sad. I was very close to her. She was a lovely woman. It looks like we will be going back to Utah next week.
I am glad that we were able to see her one last time and that she got to spend some time with her Great-Grand Daughter.

I may not post for the next week. Just wanted to let you all know why.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I just found out that I share a birthday with Tina Fey. That is pretty cool I guess. I also share a birthday with Pope John Paul II. Also Mount St. Helens erupted on my birthday in 1980.

Kind of a depressing birthday this year. There was a sort of birthday celebration here for me and Bryon. His birthday is the 19 of May and mine is the 18th of May, hence the nickname "wondertwins".

Anyway, I hope Jack gives me lots of powerball tickets for my birthday. That is all I want. Oh, and some good news for a change.

So, I have a bit of advice for all of you out there. Or a piece of information.
Do NOT fly if you have a ID that is expired or you will get felt up. My Drivers License expired on my birthday (six days ago) and I was put in EXTREME SECURITY CHECK. They all but took my clothes off.

Here is an excerpt:

Airport Security Person: I am going to touch your breast with the back of my hand.

Me: OK...

It is not that I am complaining. I think that it is important that they are so cautious about screening people. I just wanted to pass the information along so that you can avoid the EXTREME SECURITY CHECK.

I promise that I will update more often. I hope that my life gets back to normal soon.

Well, we are back to just me and Daphne. All alone. Daphne is so used to having three to ten people paying attention to her at any given time that I don't know what we are going to do. I think I need some life size cutouts of my family that will simulate staring at her while she dances around the room.

Thirteen months is a difficult age. Everyone keeps telling me that it gets worse. Worse? You mean the tantrums get worse and the demands for juice get worse? Juice is her new word. She perfected it in Utah. All we heard the whole time was "Juice". She also started saying "tree". But, that isn't as annoying. We started spelling the word "juice" because even the mention of juice sends her into a fit. She must have a constant supply of juice in her sippy cup. Is there a twelve step program for juiceoholics? I hope so.

One of the reasons I am thinking about moving back to Utah is that she would have other kids to hang out with. Here is an example:

This is Daphne and Josephine playing at my friend Jen's house in Salt Lake. It is so very weird for Jen and I to have a child at the same time. When we were in high school I never imagined that our kids would be playing together. Ok, I never imagined us with kids. But, it would be nice for Daphne to have a friend.

We also spent some time with one of Jack's high school friends. She has three children (one very nearly Daphne's age).

It was nice to spend time with other Moms my age. I wish that I had that here. I probably wouldn't feel so crazy.

We have loads of pictures to put up. Some are great and others are sad (the ones at my Grandmother's house). But I promise they are coming soon to Daphne's page.

Jack found this on some blog or another. I usually give credit, but blah, who cares. Anyhow, here it is:

You Were a Little Girl in the 1970's If....

1. .....you wore that rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves, and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest, and down the other.

Yes, yes, yes! I owned a shirt like this. Later I got one that said "awesome" on it.

2. ....you made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven. You washed them down with snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.

I not only had an Easy Bake Oven, but a Holly Hobbie Easy Bake Oven. It was shaped like an old fashioned coal fire oven. The cakes were Yummy, but Holly Hobbie is stupid. I hate pioneer stuff.

3. .....you owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a basket. In the early 80's you moved onto the ever popular 10-speed. Gosh that seat hurt!

Of Course I had the banana seat bike and basket. My 10-speed was bright yellow. I am not sure what happened to it. Not that I would want it.

4. .....you thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute. (Admit it!)

Yes, I had a little crush on Gopher. Didn't he turn out to be some Repubilcan wank from Iowa? As cute as Gopher was, Mr. Roark from Fantasy Island was scary. He used to give me nightmares.

5. .....you had either a "bowl cut" or a "pixie", not to mention the "Dorothy Hamill" because your mom was sick of braiding your hair. How traumatic when people thought you were a boy.

Oh, Lordy! I had the Tennille (Captain and Tennille) hair cut for a long time. It grows out to look like a mullet.

6. .....you wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.

Yes, all of them.

7. .....you had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple shredded outfits.

I loooooved Donny and Marie. You Know, being from Utah and all.

8. .....you had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.

Of course. We made them at camp and at church activites. I also had the kind that you could clip to your cowboy hat for rodeos and horse shows. Didn't everyone?

9. .....your Hello Kitty pencil case was cuter than anyone else's.

I spent all of my money at the Hello Kitty store in the Ogden City Mall. When we went to The Mall of America I was thrilled to see a Hello Kitty store. I don't remember the Hello Kitty Waffle Maker, but I do remember the pencils and stickers.

10. .....you wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson!

I despised Little House on the Praire and if I ever wore a ruffled shirt with a high neck it was only with much protest. Little House on the Prarie was depressing. Didn't someone always die at the end? I hate pioneer crap.

11. .....you wanted your first kiss to be at the roller rink.

First Kiss may be stretching it. I did like roller skating every Saturday afternoon. I never wanted to be a part of the couples only song. And if it ever happened to one of my friends we would make fun of her afterwords.

12. .....your hairstyle was described as having "wings" and you kept it pretty with the comb you kept in your back pocket.

I used so much hairspray to keep my hair "feathered" That it would crystalize.

13. .....you and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazard was your boyfriend.

I thought the Dukes of Hazard was the best show on TV. I always liked the one with dark hair.

14. .....YOU had Star Wars action figures, too.

And trading cards. I was always Princess Leah when we played Star Wars. We also played Battle Star Galactica.

15. .....it was a big event in your household each year when the "Wizard of Oz" would come on TV. Break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!

And the Sound of Music. It was a BIIIIIG deal!

16. .....you completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack albums (8-tracks?)

We weren't allowed to see Grease because it had bad words in it. I saw if for the first time on video when I was in fifth grade at my friend Shawna's house. We watched it everyday after school. I think I have seen it over a hundred times. Is Stockard Channing in her thirties when they filmed that?

17. .....you used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape recorder up to the speaker.

Absolutely. I even did it with the TV when I wanted to tape some songs off an episode of Fame.

18. .....you learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books (Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.)

I was scared of that book. I didn't ever dare read it.

19. .....you wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.

Didn't everyone? My Grandpa used to complain about their skimpy costumes until we pointed out the girls on Hee Haw (his favorite show)

20. .....you couldn't wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Weekly Reader book club.

I loved getting my Scholastic Book order. I remember getting copies of the magazine "Dynomite" and the Encyclopedia Brown Books.

What? Nothing about Shirt Shack? You know, those crappy iron-on T-shirt stores in the mall? I looked forward to the start of a new school year when we would go to the mall and get our weird iron-on shirt. You were a big nerd if you didn't have a picture of Shawn Cassidy ironed on to your shirt. That is what I remember most about the 70's.

So, Daphne had her first projectile vomit. It happened on the way out to my brother's house. She puked once and then again and then again. The grand total of projectile vomit was 5 times. She was covered in the apparent deadly combination of orange juice and rice chex.

I had to call Jack at work so he could bring me some fresh clothes (for Daphne and ME). I also insisted that he bring the other car seat so that she didn't have to ride home in her own vomit.

Now we can't give her anything to eat, just lots of pedialyte.

Daphne eating a puked up rice chex off her arm is going on my list of top five gross things that babies do.

Daphne is still sick. Yesterday she threw up again (in my closet) and had some serious diarrhea. Poor thing also had a fever that averaged around 101 degrees. I just took her temp an hour ago and it said 102 degrees. The nurse at the doctor's office told me that I could bring her in anytime, but that they usually didn't worry until the fever spikes to 104. So, we are staying home. I don't want to risk her getting something worse at the doctor's office. Besides, she is keeping some food down now. I gave her a little bit of rice cereal for breakfast and some toast for lunch. She has also had several liters of Pedialyte.

Fever is just her immune systems way of taking care of business. For all of you worry warts out there I am keeping track of her temp and I will take her in if her temp gets any higher. There isn't much they can do for her.

I feel so bad that she is sick. Right now she is sitting on my lap while I type (not possible when she is feeling well). She is listening to some quiet piano music on my iTunes. Her face is all pinched up and her tongue is sticking out. She looks miserable. She also keeps going in and out of sleep and I could fry an egg on her head.

It is hard for me too. She won't let me put her down, not for a minute. Not even when she is sleeping. And she is really warm (by that I mean HOT as HELL). I think that I am getting a sunburn on my arm. I feel like crying everytime I look at her.

It is so hard being a Mommy. Someone told me that she would break my heart over and over. I think that they were right. Do you every get used to your kids being sick?

I hope all the rest she has gotten today will make her feel better on Friday.

By the way, this is my 200th post.

I once had a professor tell me that I was swimming through a sea of relativity. Well, last night I was swimming through a sea of foamy green diarrhea. So much poop! And the smell. Holy Smell of the Rotting inside of Her Bowels! It was a long night often interupted by very stinky explosions coming from my daughter.

This blog is a descriptive blog so get over it.

There was still some diarrhea this morning, but the fever has gone ( fever that lasted more than 48 hours) and Daphne seems to be getting back to her old self. The proof of this is that she skipped her mid morning nap. She has eaten some crackers, toast, and even a little bit of squash mixed with rice cereal.

It is nice to have Daphne up and moving around again. I was growing weary of holding her for HOURS AND HOURS.

So, there you go. She is on the mend. Just in time for Memorial Day Weekend.

Life is becoming routine again. Jack and Daphne are at the park and I am home trying to get the energy up to do some cleaning. I am sitting here wishing I had a thousand tupperware containers of various sizes to put all of my stuff in. I would fill the containers with Daphne's toys, books I will never read again, KnickKnacks that I hate and so on.

I have too much stuff.

Maybe I should put EVERYTHING I own into tupperware containers. I could put all of my dishes and glasses and well EVERTHING. Think about how neat and clean everything would be. My closets, shelves, and cabinets would be so neat and tidy. Things wouldn't get dusty. Everything would be easy to find because all the containers would be labeled. Hmmmmm. Something to meditate on.

This is a warning on the new plastic container I bought. As if I would store Daphne in a container! That is going a little too far.

I guess I should start calling this the poop blog. After a return of vomit this morning Daphne decided to have some pretty serious diarrhea. Peanut buttery diarrhea.

Are you still reading this? Well, Daphne was eating dinner in her high chair. I went to pick her up only to discover that she had pooped and it had run all the way down her leg and all over the high chair cover. We stuck her in the bathtub and gave her a good scrub down (she will fear bathing forever now).

I am pretty put out by the diarrhea. Before I had a child I knew about poop and vomit, but now I am on an intimate basis with poop and vomit. I can't say that I like it.

If you don't have kids then enjoy your life now because one day you too will be rinsing chunks of poo out of your clothes. And you won't like it either.

Good question. I thought the diarrhea was gone and then it came back. She had something interesting come from her bowels this morning, but it was a poo free afternoon.

I told you this was the new poo blog.

We had a nice lazy Memorial Day. We lazed around here all afternoon and even took a nap. Sounds crazy doesn't it. An actual nap. We went out to Bryon and Mauria's beautiful new house and had some chicken, potatoes, and green beans. Daphne had some bread and that was it because she refused to eat anything else. We aren't pushing it.

We ARE trying something new with Daphne. It is a little thing called discipline. She has had it pretty good up until now. But, her baby days are over and now she has to start facing consequences for her bad behavior. Cruel Parents?

Now before you call social services I want to explain. What we are trying to do is get her to stop throwing food on the floor. This was cute when she was six months old and a necessary learning process up until now. Jack and I agreed this weekend that at thirteen months she should probably learn a better way to communicate that she is done eating or that she hates what we gave her to eat. Now we have the unpleasant task of telling her NO! when she throws food. We are trying to teach her the phrase "all done", but it isn't working. So, we have to resort to the horrible word "no". Jack is giving her three food throws before he removes her from the high chair. This is her "punishment" since she doesn't like to be on the floor when everyone else is eating. Not that I believe in being punitive, I hate being punitive, but we have to stop this behavior before she starts daycare.

If nothing else it is turning meal time into something very dramatic. Tonight at Bryon and Mauria's she was so dramatic with her throwing and laughing and then crying when Jack put her on the floor that for a moment I thought we were watching some really brilliant dinner theatre.

Don't try to be around us right now. There is a lot of stress in the Winn-Pinette household. It is a good thing that Jack and I are so blissfully married to each other because a whole load of stress is yet to come.

I can tell that we are stressed because Jack had a "forgot my lines while on stage dream" and I had some Browning Center dreams. All signs of doom. Well, maybe not doom, but serious stress.

I have to bottle it until June 15th. I promised Jack that I would wait until then to start crying every day. OK, I promise.

We are moving August 1st. Yes, we are. We have to be out of our current place by then. When we told the people (that we really like and have been really good to us) that we were moving in August (this was last March) it seemed reasonable that we would have found somewhere else to live. We even thought *SHOCK* that we would be purchasing a home. But, the job market sucks and well you know.

Mauria and Bryon just bought a new home. I have even picked out our room. Just kidding, things aren't that bad. OR are they? (cue scary music)

This is a fair and balanced blog. I will give equal time to both good news and bad news (see below). The good news is that Daphne had an eye appointment today and everything is looking good. Her eye is getting stronger and stronger. In fact she only has to wear the patch for two hours (instead of three). This small bit of good news is actually tremendous news for us. Two wee little hours. He told me that if she keeps improving we could take it down to 1 hour. Oh, hallellujah! I am not going to ruin this good news with any sacrcastic or negative remarks about Dr. Dickhead. This is a positive post.

Daphne seems to be on a hunger strike. I know that she hasn't been feeling well and that makes a person not hungry, but a WHOLE WEEK of not eating. I find this alarming. When I am getting better after being sick I am starving, so I expected the same of Daphne.

She used to be willing to eat anything and everything. We could get her to eat veggies, and meat, and well anything. This was a girl who even liked formula. Why did I think we would breeze through the toddler years without any food problems?

She is suddenly getting much slimmer. I thought all you dieters out there would like to know what her secret is. So here is an example day:

Breakfast: Juice, Juice and more Juice. (watered down of course, but don't tell Daphne). She also shoves a handful of Rice Chex in her mouth.

Snack: Apple Cracker, Water that she takes one sip of and then throws down and screams for JUICE.

Lunch: Daphne refuses a banana, she refuses green beans, she takes some toast and tears it into small pieces. Two pieces go on the ground and one goes in her mouth. She demands more juice, but gets milk that she forgets about until it she finds it again and drinks it all in one swig.

Snack: She refuses banana again, refuses a cracker, she refuses anything that I give her. She still demands juice. She then goes over to my avocado plant and picks up a handful of dirt and shoves in her mouth.

Dinner: Daphne refuses everything until she gets juice. Then she eats a potato with sour cream. Of course to mimic Daphne you have to suck all the sour cream off the potato and then pull the potato out of your mouth and THROW IT ON THE FLOOR.

Snack: She rips a paper towel to shreds and then eats some of the pieces (fiber you know). She then washes it down with some room temp milk.

That was her exact diet yesterday. Except the dirt episode happened twice. Jack found something online about a toddler who would eat dirt off of shoes and once was carrying a cookie in one hand and a handful of dirt in the other, but was eating the dirt!

There is some progress in the spoon feeding department. Daphne grabbed a spoon from Jack last night and began feeding herself sour cream (but absolutely no potato).

Also a part of the diet is her exercise program which consists of running around the living room screaming her head off for JUICE!

Yes, it was time for me to renew my license. Especially if I am going to fly anywhere anytime soon. I don't want to have to go through EXTREME SECURITY SCREENING again. Not that I am flying anywhere anytime soon. It is good to get the whole thing taken care of before I got pulled over by my local police officers again. Oh, I forgot to tell you all about that. Well.....

I was taking Eliana home and I got pulled over. Actually the officer followed me into the Friedmans driveway. I was getting Daphne out and trying to get Eliana's backpack and things. Here is how it went down:

Me: Did I do something wrong?

Policeman: Yes, you were going 35 in a 25 mile zone.

Me: Oh, I am very sorry.

Policeman: I can see that you have your hands full, so I am just going to give you a warning.

Me: Oh, thank you very much.

He had no idea that my license was a week expired. I was freaking out. But, I am glad that he was kind enough to see that I was VERY busy with the baby and the darling girl with disabilities.

Sometimes it is good to be a Mommy. Although I probably wouldn't have let my license expire if I wasn't a Mommy. It isn't like I could take Daphne to the Driver's License Bureau. Have you been there? Not exactly kid friendly. I had to pick up Jack at work and have him spend his lunch hour watching Daphne while I had my horrible horrible picture taken.

The only thing worse than getting a driver's license picture taken is going to the dentist. Even though I like my dentist a lot. She is very sweet and understanding, but I have the teeth of a 75 year old man who chewed caramels his whole life and I have to go get a partial crown put on which means they have to drill and drill and drill my back tooth and then I have to get a mold for my back tooth which means that I have to taste the horrrible berry flavored toxic crap that they use for that.

Whew! I am not looking forward to it. But, this is the first dental thing I have had done (except for cleanings) in 7 years. Yes, let me repeat that. I haven't had a cavity in 7 years. So, I guess I shouldn't complain about getting a partial crown. It's not like I am getting a root canal. (I hope)

Go ahead. Look at Daphne's page. Here is an example:

My Friend Jen, her husband, and their daughter Josephine spent an afternoon with us. Daphne had a great time throwing blocks, chasing dogs, and creating general chaos.

I have my scary dental procedure today. I am so fearful of the dentist. I have a nice dentist, but I am still afraid. Probably because one time I had a filling fall out and I didn't notice for a year or so (this was back in my college days) and I went to the dentist and they had to do an emergency root canal (my one and only thank you very much). This happened a day before I went to DisneyLand with Jack and I was in pain the entire time. So, now when I go in for dental procedures I think that it may turn into a root canal. Legitimate fear, eh?

So, I am scared today because it has been a long time since I have had anything beyond the scrape, scrape of a cleaning. And I think that dental hygenists are scarier than anyone else on earth. When I go in for a cleaning I am more afraid of the hygientists inevitable judgment than the scrape scrape.

At my last couple of cleanings the hygienist has asked me if I use a fluoride toothpaste. I wish I could say, "No, I use pancake syrup. Is that a problem?" A fluoride toothpaste? What does she think I use? Are there toothpastes that don't contain fluoride? Also, when she gave me my sample toothpaste, it contained mouthwash. I couldn't help but think she was trying to give me a hint.

I only know one person my age who has worse teeth than me. She has to go to the dentist every three months (instead of twice a year). In fact, one of these days she is going to have some kind of gum surgery because they are receding so bad. It makes me feel better to know that at least one person has worse teeth than I do.

Last night to scare myself I looked at pictures of people getting their teeth extracted for dentures. Jack made me stop.

Go to the dentist people! Go now! Don't let anything slide. But find a nice dentist like mine.

Ok, so read the post below before you read this one. Done? OK.

I feel a little guilty. My dentist is soooo nice. She is really nice. The best dentist ever. In fact, if you live in Iowa City you should go to her. Her name is Ann Connors. I feel bad because I am so negative while I am there and she is just doing her job.

She does it really well. That is the best crown fitting I have ever had. No pain, no discomfort. And she did it very quickly and gently because she knows I get claustrophobic.

And she does all her work without giving her patients nitrous oxide (laughing gas). Now that is a good dentist!

Now the worst part is that half my face is numb and I have this horrible metal taste in my mouth. But it will go away and I can get back to finding other things to worry about (there are plenty).

And don't Google pictures of people getting their teeth pulled out. It doesn't make for a relaxing morning in the dental chair. I kept trying to go to my happy place but kept recalling images of bloody toothless gums. Ewww!

It is going to be a nice day today. I think we are going to go to the Iowa Art Festival. It is kind of lame, but an excuse to go outdoors.

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band is playing at the festival tonight. The only reason I know who they are is because I am a musical theatre geek. They sing a song called "Hand Me Down That Can O' Beans on the Paint Your Wagon soundtrack. For all of you non-musical theatre geeks, it is the movie that has Clint Eastwood singing "I Call the Wind Maria". The fact that I know that says a lot about my own lameness.

The first year that we lived here Shawn Colvin played at the Arts Festival. That was good. Everything since then has been a BIG disappoinment. We are going anyway, we can get out and see all the Iowa City Freaks (they only come out in the summer when the students have gone home.)

So, that is our plan today. It is a rare free Saturday for us. Usually I tutor in the afternoon and take Eliana in the evening. So, I am declaring this Pay Attention to Daphne Day. All Daphne All Day!

We had a nice pleasant weekend. We went to the Arts Festival and Daphne loved it. She found a puddle of spilled soda and really wanted to roll around in it. She loves being sticky. The music was nice and she liked seeing all the little kids. She even pointed to them and said, "kids".

In a big word shocker she said, "tub" last night when I was giving her a bath. She also has started saying, "diaper". I wish I could get her to look at me and say, "Mama". Isn't she past the point when she should be calling me "Mama"? All the baby books say she should. Oh, well.

She also spent the afternoon with her aunt and uncle at their new house. She loved it. Jack and I left her there so we could go have a nice peaceful lunch.

She stayed back and played with blocks, listened to music, took a walk, and ate toast with blueberry jam. She gets complete and undivided attention from her aunt and uncle and I don't think she wanted to leave. In fact, she kind of moped the whole way home and then took a nap.

All in all a very good weekend. It looks like it is going to be a nice day so maybe we will go ride the train at the park.

Don't ever wonder if life can get worse. It can. General malaise can turn into pure torture.

It is 5:47 a.m. and I woke up 15 minutes ago with the most horrific tooth pain. Horrible pain and I have been through child birth. Not to beat a dead horse, but I went through a c-section and refused any morphine. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and this hurts like hell. Like hell.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I am trying to kill time waiting for the THREE Tylenol I just took to work. It is a long wait. I called the dentist yesterday afternoon and left a message. I waited and waited and waited. I feel like calling right now and saying, "It is g#$ d#@** 5:45 in the morning and I am in HELLISH PAIN! BRING ME MY MORPHINE DRIP NOW!

What does Lawrence Olivier give Dustin Hoffman in The Marathon Man after he tortures him with dental procedures?

Anyway, this on top of a horrible job interview on Monday, my general malaise, a child who yells at me all the time, and the beginning of the season of sweltering heat, not good times my friends, not good times.

I just wish this Tylenol would kick in.

If my life were a TV show this would be the time of the big cliffhanger. What will happen to Holly?

1. Will she have to have that root canal?

2. Will she end up living in her car come August 1st?

3. Will she get the job she just interviewed for where the principal asked her this question: "Because the classroom is so diverse, I am wondering, do you know anything about Hip-Hop?"

Stayed Tuned!

There is this movie called SLC Punks that I SWEAR is an omen for bad things happening to me. I am a very superstious person. I hate that movie. This blog boycotts the movie SLC Punks.

Besides. It is a lame movie.

Oh, and speaking of movies. I went to Hollywood Video the other day and that place must be run by a Mormon because they had the movie Charly. You Utah people know what I am talking about. The book by Jack Weylan (or however you spell it).

They also have a movie called The RM(returned missionary) AND a movie about the Book of Mormon.

Who would have thought such a thing would be here in Iowa City. I am watching for them to start stocking Feature Films for Families so I can rent the movie Jack was in when he was fourteen. It was produced by a Utah based company.

This blog needs a mood elevator. It needs a shot of joy. And what better way to change the mood than to put up some pictures of Daphne.

I will put the rest on the Daphne page.

So, want the answers to the big cliffhanger questions? Here goes:

1. Yes

2. Most Likely

3. No, I guess I didn't know enough about MTV.

Right now I wouldn't come within a few feet of me lest you get caught in the down pour from the rain cloud circling over my head. Damnitt! You doubt my bad luck? Well, did your daughter pee all over you and your bed last night?

Jack always tries to cheer me up by suggesting ways that my life could be worse. Somehow, I don't find imagining a worse scenario comforting. For example, imagining that Daphne got liquid poo all over me instead of urine, does not make me feel better about my life or being peed on. I do appreciate that he is trying.

I think it is time for a blog title change. How about this:

"Holly's Page: alienating readers one poo story at a time"

I am reading Bridget Jones the Edge of Reason (again) and am trying not to write in manner of lunatic singleton. Is hard. Love Brigdet Jones. Can't wait for film.

Ok, enough.

What did we do over the weekend? Besides spill many a tear. Well, we went to North Liberty Fun Days. I think it should be called North Liberty Scunge Days. Boy was it nasty. We only went because Eliana really wanted to go and I had never been so I didn't know about the scunge factor.

Jack and Eliana rode on a very scary looking Tilt-a-Whirl. I wouldn't have gotten on it for the world. Especially since one of my-none to bright- students was running it. Very Scary!

Here is what is going on in the world of Daphne:

Won't eat.
Won't Sleep.
What will she do?

She is speaking a lot more now. Her vocabulary grows everyday. Today she asked me for cheese by saying, "cheese". Amazing. Also, her facial expressions are becoming a lot more clear. I can actually tell what is going on inside that little brain of hers. Well, sometimes.

I don't know why she won't eat or sleep. We try everything. We even went out and bought Chef Boyardee. She won't touch it without cringing in horror. I thought ALL kids liked Chef Boyardee. I guess Daphne doesn't. Right now she will only eat toast, juice, milk, yogurt, veggie wagon wheels, and cheese (but only if it is shredded cheese). I am going to try a banana this afternoon. All we can do is keep offering food to her.

The sleep issue is becoming a HUGE problem. Suddenly she only wants to sleep for five hours at night. Very frustrating for us. It is making me have to eat a lot more ice cream. Why ice cream? Well, because it is the King of All Comfort Food. That is why. And when you haven't slept in days, well the King of all Comfort Food is what you require.

It sure it is making my body expand. Wait, I have a great sitcom joke (totally lame). Ok, here is goes: If I keep eating ice cream even my stretch marks will have stretch marks. Cue canned laughter.

Daphne slept through the night! Yahoo! In fact, she is asleep right now. But I won't talk about it because I don't want to jinx it.

I will say this, it was nice be able to sleep more than five hours. I can't handle getting less sleep. I have such a fragile pysche right now, I need to be able to sleep.

Here is a game to break up the monotony of your day:

This is a list of my top five movies, try to match up the movie to the quote.

1. Ghost World

2. Breakfast at Tiffanys

3. When Harry Met Sally

4. Joe vs. the Volcano

5. Bridget Jones's Diary

A. The delicate tangles of his hair covered the emptiness of my hand. Would you like to hear it again?

B. We're alike, me and cat. A couple of poor nameless slobs.

C. I like you just the way you are.

D. Woman : We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.

Man : Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.

E. Man: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

Woman: Which one am I?

Man: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Daphne is starting to outgrow her baby toys. She is finally starting to show interest in her stuffed animals. This is a good thing because she has an entire zoo sitting patiently in her crib just waiting for her to figure out that they are fun to play with.

Just recently on a day when Daphne was being ridiculously annoying and I was growing more and more impatient with her tantrums for juice she picked up a stuffed dog and ran over to show me. Then she got down on the floor and cuddled it in her arms and rocked it like a baby. All I could think was how precious she was and maybe I wouldn't put her up for sale on eBay after all.

Now I am starting to worry that one day I am going to have a child who BEGS for a doggy. This fear is not unwarrented. The fourth word she learned was doggy. She loves to see doggies in the park or downtown in the ped mall. If she sees a doggy on TV or even in a book she yells out with joy, "DOGGY"!

I am not a dog person. Not that there is anything wrong with dogs or being a dog person or even a cat person. I am just more of a goldfish person. When I was little I had a turtle. That seems nice, but I just recently learned that turtles carry salmonella. I don't think I could handle that. A goldfish would be nice.

The biggest reason I don't want to own a pet is because I am a germaphobe. I know what you are all thinking, "How can she be a germaphobe when she lets Daphne eat food off the floor?" Well, that is simple. I am just plain lazy. And lazy beats germaphobe any day of the week.

In case you did not know. I have a very smart little girl living with me. I don't know any other children her age so I have nothing to compare. All I can say is that she must be smart because she can say, "quack". Very Impressive. Don't you think? She says it to a duck in her duck book, to her stuffed animal duck, to her little duckie that quacks when you push the belly, and to ducks on TV.

"Quack" seems like a very difficult word to put together.

Right now she is walking around with a small plastic bowl on her head while carrying around a pair of underwear she found in a laundry basket and laughing hysterically. So, maybe she isn't the smartest girl ever. But still pretty smart!

Well, I can't tell you much about my root canal because I didn't have one. Yes, I didn't have one. If you remember from a few posts ago I was in some pain. Well, not just some pain, but horrible, painful, pain. Get me the morphine pain. But, it tapered off and I stopped having to take ibuprofen every 1/2 hour.

I went to see my dentist, but she was out of town so I saw another dentist in her office. A nice person, but a newbie. I told her I was in pain and she said, "Oh, you need a root canal". No x-ray, no nothing. Just, "Oh, you need a root canal".

I had them make an appointment with an endodontist. An endodontist is someone who specializes in PAIN. Just kidding. An endodontist is someone who removes damaged tissue (or pulp) from the root canal of a tooth. Very nice people I am sure. Well, the endodontist that I went to see was VERY NICE. He took an x-ray, did some tests, and said, "If it were my tooth I wouldn't opt for the root canal." He couldn't see anything wrong and told me to wait a few weeks before getting the crown and then if I didn't have any pain to go ahead and seal the crown and get on with my life.

So, today I went to see my actual factual dentist and she agreed with the endodontist and we are going to wait and see what happens for the next 10 days. She said that pain after a dental procedure is normal and the fact that it is tapering off is a good sign. And then she took a little bit off the top of my temp crown and even took a little bit off of a crown I got a few years ago that has been bugging the hell out of me. So, now my bite doesn't feel weird anymore.

I love my dentist. If she weren't a girl and if I wasn't married already I would probably propose to her.